The Greatest Story Never Told
by IrvingZissman
Summary: COMPLETED Angry that the fan fiction community doesn't take him seriously, Control Freak sets out to destroy the Titans to prove his worth as a super villain and to win Starfire's love. BBRae RobStar CFAnime
1. A Long Time Ago

Ok, so before I start any further on this story I just want to inform everyone that I have no problem with the fan fiction community. I do, however, think self-parody can be a very healthy thing as I am guilty of many of Control Freak's vices. So please don't get upset at some of the jokes I'll make along the way. By the way, if you don't know what Pocky is, go to wikipedia dot com and look it up.

And just to be on the safe side, I in no way own any of the many, many franchises I am going to parody the hell out of it.

* * *

It looked like a normal apartment, albeit with a slightly nerd-like decor. The kitchen was small, with empty packets of ramen and Pocky littering the counter tops. Hung up in the living room were authentic posters from such classics as 'STAR WARS', 'NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD', 'DRAGONBALL Z' and more.

The computer in the living room was a piece of work too. A 35" LCD high definition monitor which boasted a blazing fast speed and wireless keyboard and mouse. An empty 2-liter of Faygo soda served as the perfect decoration above the custom, glowing computer tower. Sitting in front of this computer, furiously hammering on his keyboard keys, was Control Freak.

Control Freak found himself in this particular day engrossed in a favorite past time of his...reading Fan Fiction. Most of the time he would would alternate between Transformers or Star Wars, finding those two categories to be of the highest quality. On this occasion, he was more in the mood for some Transformers fiction, eager to dive into the brutal world of Autobots versus Decipitcons in a heated battle for galactic supremacy.

The nerdy super villain eagerly logged on to his favorite fan fiction website, but this time was shocked to discover a new category right above the usual Transformers spot he was so used to seeing. It was a new section, one that seeming sprung up over night and yet it filled Control Freak with rage.

**TEEN TITANS**

"Since when are they worthy of having stories written about them?" he scoffed, as he stuffed a handful of UNCLE MIKE'S BBQ PORK RINDS into his mouth. "It's ridiculous!" And to see just how ridiculous it in fact was, he clicked the category anyway to see what stories there were to read. The description of the very first story filled him with an indignant rage.

"_BATTLE OF AGES – The Titans do battle with their greatest foe ever – SLADE!_"

"SLADE!" the nerdy super villain sneered in disgust. "Like anyone expects that one eyed freak to be a credible threat! PUH-LEEZE!" he added, his vocal outrage causing chunks of half-eaten pork rinds to fly all over his computer. "Let's see what other lame excuses for a story this place has to offer..."

"_FORBIDDEN PASSION – What happens when Raven confesses her love to Starfire? Rated M for graphic love scene!_"

"Hmm...might have to save that one for later..."

This continued on for several minutes with Control Freak's inner rage building and building as he found that not only did the Teen Titans have their own section, but they had over 13,000 stories written about them! Worst of all, none of them were about him.

"This is an outrage!" he bellowed, slamming his fist down his desk which caused a shower of BBQ pork rind dust to fly in the air. "I'm a twelfth-level space samurai! I deserve respect! It's completely ludicrous to think that those meddling twerps get stories about them but I, the greatest villain of them all, get nothing!"

Needless to say, this was not sitting well with him. Control Freak flew up from his chair and paced madly around his living room, being careful not to step on his Japanese import Gamecast games and issues of Weekly Shonen Jump which scattered the lime green carpet.

"I have to destroy the Titans once for all, to prove to the world I am the greatest of all time! But how?" he thought, scratching his unkempt beard stubble as he contemplated his next plan.

"I could reconfigurate my remote control and use mind control waves on them! Enslave them to do my bidding!" he said, cackling with gusto at his diabolical plan. "And perhaps I could finally convince the darling Starfire that she doesn't deserve that obsessive compulsive jerk Robin and to get a real man, namely me!"

"But..." he said, thinking this plan of attack over "...once my batteries wore out, she'd fall right back in love with that stupid no-eyed jerk!"

Control Freak sat down in the floor in disgust, unable to formulate a convincing plan to demonstrate his worth as a super villain, sighing bitterly to himself. "If only I could emulate the true masters of evil...Freeza, Vicious, Voldemort...these are the names that deserve to be remembered! Not Slade, The Brain or Puppet King!" he scoffed.

The overweight super nerd glanced around his apartment in a desperate attempt to find something to amuse him, as he figured he could think better if he were entertained. He scrambled through a cluttered pile of miscellaneous knick knacks, till he found his beloved bootlegged anime collection. And then, suddenly finding his inspiration, he grinned devilishly as he formulated his diabolical plan.

* * *

"Duuddde..." Beast Boy groaned. "Did anyone get the license plate number of that bus?" he said, collapsing in a heap on the sofa in OPs.

"I got it's number...it said CINDERBLOCK." Cyborg replied.

The Titans had responded to an emergency call that Cinderblock was involved in a robbery of Jump City National Bank and of course, the Titans were there to put a stop to it. It was an epic battle, with Cinderblock seemingly untouchable in his concrete fueled fury. The group gave it their all, and the battle was long and hard, but the Titans emerged victorious. In the end, Cyborg and Robin kept Cinderblock distracted while Raven had managed to wrap several light posts around him using her powers.

But with that behind them, the gang returned to the Tower, bruised and exhausted. "This has been a most tiring day." Starfire said lazily, floating into OPs with her shoulders slumped. Robin came in behind her, a slight limp in his step.

Cyborg then followed, his normally gleaming metal body now scuffed and scratched, who was followed by Raven who was just as exhausted as everyone else.

"Dude, why can't super bad-guys be made of Jello or pudding or something? Why concrete?" Beast Boy lamented, kicking his boots off. Raven floated her way to him, gently resting herself to sit next to her green beau, breathing a sigh of relief that the battle was over.

"The point is we won." Robin added firmly. "Cinderblock threw everything he had at us and we still came out on top. I'm sure with a little more training we could beat him twice as fast!"

"Dude...you need a vacation." said Beast Boy. Robin frowned slightly as he knew the jade skinned prankster was right. "You're probably right..." he replied softly.

Cyborg fiddled with his left elbow a bit, noticing the joint was coming loose and needed attention. "Well I don't about you guys, but I think I'm gonna go take a breather and patch up." he said, as he made his way back to his room for some well needed repairs. "I believe he has the right idea. Robin, perhaps you would care for the Icy and Hot massage?" Starfire asked of her boyfriend. Robin, of course, eagerly accepted as he'd have to be a fool to reject such an offer. Without a moment's hesitation, the crimson haired beauty and Boy Wonder were off for some well earned R&R.

That just left Beast Boy and Raven alone in OPs. Beast Boy briefly considered to reach over and turn on the GameStation 720, but found he was too tired to even do that. "I'm whooped..." he yawned, scratching his head. Raven just nodded in agreement, just as sore as he was, though thinking complaining about it wouldn't help ease the pain any.

While Beast Boy sat there, admiring his pale Azarathian beauty, his focus entirely on her, when he suddenly felt their psychic link flare up. He could sense how sore she was, how every muscle on her petite frame ached and was in desperate need of relief. So, like any good boyfriend would do, he decided to offer his help.

"Hey Rae...would..uhh...you like...a back massage?" he asked timidly, the question seemingly harder to ask then it should have been.

"Since when do you know how to massage?" she asked.

Beast Boy blushed slightly and began to stammer, his mouth starting to go dry as if it were full of cotton. "Well..uhh...that is..." he said. Raven merely smirked at his uneasiness, finding his stammering cute in a bashful sort of way.

"Fine Gar." she said, as she turned her back towards him and scooted closer to the green changeling, her back a short gap from his chest. Beast Boy took a deep breath in to himself, not at all expecting her to go through with this.

"Need to have more confidence in yourself..." he thought, making a mental note.

The Azarathian sorceresses unhooked her cloak and flung it over the edge of the couch, letting Beast Boy have full access just to her leotard clad shoulders and back. With a gloved hand that shook slightly like a leaf in a gentle breeze, he reached forward and began to kneed the delicate flesh of her shoulders.

Raven closed her eyes and exhaled deeply, finding that surprisingly he had a gentle touch and was taking his time and not rushing to get the job done. He started off slow and careful, using his thumb to kneed gentle, small circles around her shoulders in an attempt to loosen up her stiff and sore muscles. His hands begin to work their way down her shoulder blades to roughly around her mid-back area, his fingers working a bit harder as the muscles were really tense in this area.

Raven gasped loudly as he found a particularly bad sore spot, causing a nearby GameStation controller to explode in dark energy. Beast Boy froze with his hands still on his back. "Is...everything ok?" he asked apprehensively. The pale girl blushed a light shade of crimson. "Yeah..." she said "That was just a bad spot. Keep going, Gar. You're doing a good job."

Beast Boy grinned his standard toothy grin and resumed his massage. His hands glided over her slender back and after bit more massaging, her gasps of sharp pain were replaced with purrs of appreciation. She arched her back a little, her eyes tightly closed and let out a quiet sound, a sound which Beast Boy swore was a moan, in recognition of his work.

A few more moments like this passed between the two before a satisfied Raven slid against Beast Boy, resting on his chest like a pillow. Beast Boy ran his fingers through her silk like violet hair, before planting a gentle kiss on the crown of her head.

The two Titans laid there drifting off to sleep in each other's company. Beast Boy yawned loudly and closed his eyes, ready to pass out for a few hours, when his slumber was interrupted by a booming voice that sounded like it was amplified from a loud speaker.

**"TITANS! PREPARE TO MEET THY DOOM!"**


	2. Gundam? It Nearly Killed Em!

So sorry for the lack of updates lately, but I've been absolutely hooked on Resident Evil 4 for my PS2 and I'm hellbent on earning the Chicago Typewriter. BUT, I cannot forget my loyal fan base (both of you), so on with the show.

* * *

Beast Boy sighed bitterly as Raven went and grabbed her cloak. After a relative dry spell of crime, things has begun to pick up lately and he rarely had any time to spend with his pale beauty. "I wonder if Batman has this problem?" he wondered to himself. 

He did manage to make it to his feet, though he was still sore from head to toe, and follow Raven to the roof of the Tower to get a better glimpse of their attacker. The empath and changeling flung open the door to the roof to find Cyborg, a hastily dressed Robin and Starfire with her hair in a bit of a mess staring down a giant mech like robot.

"TITANS! You have been allowed to exist for too long! TODAY YOU SHALL BE DESTROYED!" came that same voice. A bit of thinking on the matter and Beast Boy could swear he'd heard it before. The voice seemed to be coming from a giant robot of sorts floating in front of the Tower. The robot's sharp, angular features were accented by a blue and white body that sported red trim on the soles of the feet and the mech's "face." Possessed in it's hands was an absolutely enormous gun of some sort, the barrel of which was aimed right for the Titans. It looked so familiar to Beast Boy...like he'd seen it somewhere else...

"It's a Gundam!" he squealed, finally pin pointing where he'd seen it. "A what?" came Raven's reply.

"Dude, it's a Gundam! It's a cool giant space robot from the book Gundam Sentinel, based on the anime."

"Wait...so someone is attacking us with a robot from an anime?" Robin asked. Beast Boy just nodded, still staring at the hulking mech with a fan boy gleam in his green eyes..

"Control Freak." Raven hissed. "If anybody would attack with a giant anime robot, it would be him."

"Haha! Took you long enough!" the nerdy super villain taunted. "And your snot toned little boyfriend is right! This baby is..."

"It's the MSA-011 S Gundam!" Beast Boy interrupted. "The top of the line! One of four prototype models, but the only one to see actual combat! It's loaded to the teeth with everything from 60mm vulcan guns to beam sabers! The works!" he gushed, his obvious fan boy-isms bleeding through to the surface.

"Hey! Don't interrupt me when I'm trying to be evil!" Control Freak protested, angry that his monologue kept getting cut off by the meddling do-gooders. "Whereas I am impressed with your knowledge, the only thing you need to know about this gifted piece of technology is that it is your DOOM!" he added.

"Is this part where I'm supposed to be scared? Intimated perhaps?" Raven said sharply in response, her arms crossed over her chest. Her lack of fear just made Control Freak scowl inside his cockpit. Without a further moment of hesitation he pressed the trigger with his sweaty, clammy finger, sending a barrage of futuristic bullets to rain down upon the Titans. Within a blink of an eye Raven had cast the group inside a huge dome of her dark energy, the bullets bouncing harmlessly off and landing at the base of the Tower. Robin was quick to use this moment to his advantage to set up the plan of attack.

"Titans! Listen up as we don't have much time. Cyborg, Beast Boy and I will keep him busy. Starfire? You and Raven take him from behind. If we can take out whatever device is keeping him in the air, we can knock him down to our level." the fearless teenage leader commanded. Starfire gave a small nod. "But how shall we do the sneaking of the up?" she asked.

"Simple." said Raven. "I can hold out longer than he can and eventually he will need to reload. When he does, I phase up through a portal behind him. If you hold on to me you will come with me."

And she was right, as soon after saying this Control Freak cursed audibly as he went to reload his Vulcan assault rifle. "NOW!" Robin commanded. Starfire lunged for Raven and clutched the pale Azarathian's arm with a vice like grip. Raven grit her teeth at such a tight squeeze, but shaking it off, fell into a black swirling pool that had opened beneath her feet and in a blink of an eye the two girls were gone.

"Alright little man, time to show you what a real robot can do!" said Cyborg, as he fired a blast from his sonic cannon straight at the Control Freak piloted Gundam. Control Freak merely smiled from inside the safety of his cock pit and effortlessly swatted the blast away with his beam saber.

"Nice try, Tin Man! But you're gonna have to do better than that!" he taunted.

Beast Boy's turn was next as he quickly morphed into a humming bird and shot at the robot with blinding speed. When he was close enough, the green changeling quickly morphed into a gorilla and, clinging to the Gundam's metallic frame, began to furiously pound his large primate fists on the anime space mech.

"Get off me!" Control Freak whined as the Gundam's systems went haywire with the damage they had been receiving. Before Beast Boy could react quick enough, the Gundam's arms reached up and grabbed him and with a mighty heave, slung him into Jump City Bay with a huge splash.

"That just leaves you, Robin!" Control Freak sneered. "With you out of the way I'll be getting all the Tammaranian booty I desire!"

At first Robin was furious, but when he saw the black portal open up beyond the Gundam, he calmed down and smiled instead.

"What's so funny?" Control Freak demanded to know.

He got his answer.

With a mighty Tammaranian battle cry, the warrior princess Starfire swung her petite fist at the massive hulk of technology and with a loud and thunderous CLANG, the Gundam rocketed towards the water like a meteor falling from the heavens and hit the blue sheet of water with a loud SPLASH.

"That was easy..." Cyborg said, observing from the roof of the Tower. Robin furrowed his brow slightly. "Too easy." the Boy Wonder said cautiously.

"Is...the Control Freak gone now?" Starfire asked apprehensively to Raven, the two female Titans still floating in air where the Gundam had been seconds ago. "I do hope I did not hit him too hard."

Up from the water behind the two girls came a dented and heavily damaged Gundam. Sparks flew from it's various joints, random wires hung out like straw from an old scarecrow. The Gundam was beaten, but not out of the fight yet. Or at least, so Control Freak thought.

"Lucky shot!" he taunted through his microphone, his voice sounding even more distorted than usual. "You may have won the battle, but the war is still mine!" and to accentuate his point produced his beam saber and blindly charged at the two girls.

Raven grit her teeth and from her own dark energy formed a curved, long, blade-like shape. With a yell, she swung the dark blade, slashing the legs off of the Gundam as if it were made of styro-foam. The Gundam sputtered, coughed and wheezed as it began to plummet towards the icy cold waters of the bay.

"EJECTION SEAT!" Control Freak screamed in a panic. The hood of the cockpit opened and his seat shot straight in the air, at least 30 or 40 feet higher than Titans Tower itself. A parachute opened when the chair reached the peak of it's jump and slowly floated back down...

...to the roof of Titans Tower.

An irritated Control Freak threw the parachute off him and swallowed his spit hard when his brain had processed the fact that he was surrounded by the Titans, including Beast Boy, who had flew back up the Tower, but was now soaking wet.

"Any last words?" Raven said with ice dripping from her voice. Control Freak unhooked his seat belt and standing up to his feet, smiled a huge nerdy smile.

"Actually, I do." he said. And quickly produced his outstretched hands and fingers to his forehead.

"**SOLAR FLARE**!" he screamed and suddenly the Titans were surrounded by an intense white, blinding light that seemed to last for a few seconds or so. When their vision had returned to normal, Control Freak had escaped.

"You know...I'm really starting to dislike that guy..." Beast Boy said. "I mean, the dude totally gives us nerds a bad name."

"As if nerds had a good name to begin with." Raven said dryly, with a slight smile on the corner of her lips. Beast Boy just grinned ear to ear, noticing his entire body was soaking wet. "Hey Rae, how about a hug?" he asked grinning. Raven took a cautious step back as she said "Gar, if you even so much as get one drop on me..." Beast Boy slowly stalked his girlfriend with his arms out stretched, his lips pursed together in a ridiculous "kissey" face as he made obnoxiously loud kissing noises.

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos!" and before he knew it, the changeling found himself suspended three feet in the air engulfed in her mystical powers. Cyborg howled with laughter, the cybernetic Titan never getting tired of the sight of Raven always getting the best of Beast Boy.

"I swear man, you two are so opposite you're perfect for each other." he said as he chuckled heartily. "Indeed. You two are definitely the attracting of opposites." Starfire added.

"Uhh...Star, hun? The phrase is 'opposites attract." Robin politely corrected his crimson haired beauty. Starfire's cheeks blushed an adorable shade of pink, but quickly faded when Robin planted a reassuring kiss on them.

"Can I please come down now?" Beast Boy asked politely. Raven just smiled as she made her way to the door that would lead her back to their room, still dragging a floating Beast Boy behind her.

"Let me think about it." she teased as the rest of the Titans made their way back in, ready to resume their activities before Control Freak's attack.

* * *

Control Freak huffed and puffed breathlessly as he ran up the stairs to his apartment and reaching his door, frantically searched through his keys till he found the right one. In one swift movement, the nerdy super villain swung open the door and slammed it behind him, locking and securing the dead bolt. He peered out the peep hole to make sure none of the Titans were following him, yet secretly hoping that Starfire had decided to follow him after being impressed with his complete mastery of piloting a Gundam. 

Sighing a sigh of both relief and disappointment, the pudgy geek plopped down in his leather computer chair. "It's just not fair!" he lamented. "I am the greatest villain ever and yet those twerps beat a super genius such as myself? BLASPHEMY!"

His mind raced through the possible scenarios and what he did wrong, when it suddenly dawned on him. "Of course! Every time I attack them it's 5 against 1! They have to use cheap tactics to try and hold me down!"

Control Freak laughed manically as he reached for a nearby dart that sat on his desk and chucked at his dart board across the room, where a glossy 8x10 picture of Robin had been taped on top of it. The dart shot through the air and stabbed the photographic Robin between his eyes.

"Relish this moment now Boy Wonder, but I'll pick off your precious teammates one by one when they have no one else to back them up! And then...oh then I shall save you for last and have that gorgeous Starfire all to myself!"


	3. Titanball T

A quicker update! HORRAY! ALSO: I made a request before, but if anyone would be so kind as to at least attempt some sort of fan-art based on one of my stories, I would love you forever. I have no way of paying you back, but I promise to pimp the hell out of it. NOW LET'S ROLL. By the way, for those of you who don't know, Control Freak's character this story is Vegeta from Dragonball Z. Hit up Wikipedia and search for Vegeta to a see pic of him in this costume.

* * *

"Is this not a glorious day?" Starfire asked Silke.

It was a warm, bright sunny day in Jump City and the Tammaranian princess had figured this would be the best opportunity to take her bumgorf for a walk in the park. Starfire hummed a traditional Tammaranian folk song to herself as she pushed the mutant larvae in a stroller. The sun was shining in full bloom allowing the girl's crimson locks to seemingly glow and shine, which made her even more beautiful to look at.

And somebody noticed.

This somebody was crouched heroically behind a shrubbery, watching as Starfire and Silky made their way past him. His normal trench coat was gone, this time having been replaced by a blue spandex-like jump suit that bulged under his nerdy mass. This was accompanied by a white chest protective plate, with a strap of the same material going over his shoulders to secure a protective plate for his back.

His feet were covered in bright white boots, and his hands in white gloves that went past his wrist. His hair, a normal stringy, oily tangle was now dyed black and spiked with massive amounts of hair gel and hair spray so that it stood straight up in the air in a spiky tower.

He was Control Freak – Prince of all Saiyans.

"She's got pretty hair..." Control Freak breathlessly whispered to himself as he secretly watched Starfire from the shadows.

Starfire had just finished humming the 251st verse to her folk song, when Silke began to cry with an ear piercing intensity. "What is the matter, dear Silkie?" she asked sweetly. "Are you tired? Thirsty? Do you have the gas?"

Silkie just wailed louder, his tiny lungs causing a surprisingly high pitched tone that echoed throughout the normally calm park. Sensing the annoyed stares of the citizens, Starfire quickly reached down to cradle her bumgorf in her arms, hoping she could gently rock him to sleep.

"Ohhh what is the matter? I fear I am not good in judging your moods." she lamented. "Perhaps you are hungry?" she asked, with Silkie just whimpering softly in reply. "Success! We shall retrieve you the food!" the alien proudly proclaimed. She rewarded her bumgorf with a lovely kiss on it's forehead, before placing him back in his stroller and set off towards a hot dog stand to retrieve some mustard for the both of them.

Or so the plan went, until Control Freak finally made his presence known, jumping out from behind the shrubbery, standing as a geeky road block between the crimson haired beauty and her mustard.

"Foolish child! Now you will face me, the Prince of all Saiyans!" he bellowed.

Starfire was shocked and surprised, mostly directed towards the nerdy super villain's odd manner of dress. "Control...Freak?" she asked slightly curious.

"I no longer go by such a name." he said, trying to make his voice sound deeper with a slightly more intense gravely aspect added to it. "My name is Vegeta! And I shall make you my bride!"

Now this downright confused Starfire who could feel her stomach grumbling out of hunger and, if there is one thing a wise man should not mess with at all, it is a hungry Tammaranian.

"I am afraid I cannot be your bride." she said. "As I am currently engaged in a romantic relationship with Robin."

Control Freak grit his teeth in anger. "Nonsense!" he barked. "That puny little scum isn't worth your time! You need a true warrior, one such as myself!" Starting to get annoyed, Starfire charged up two starbolts in her dainty fists, ready to remove the bulbous obstacle that stood before her. Seeing that he had drawn out Starfire's wrath, Control Freak merely chuckled to himself. "You expect me to be in fear of such insignificant strength? HA! Do not make me laugh! I shall demonstrate to you my true power!"

And show her his true power he did indeed. Immediately clenching his two fists together, Control Freak begin to grunt and groan loudly, the sounds emanating from his throat closely resembling that of a middle aged man attempting pass a kidney stone, with it sounding something close to "RRRAAARRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!" with his eyes tightly shut and teeth clenched in a fierce bite.

For her part Starfire's starbolts went away from her fists as she watched with a bewildered interest at this odd display. Pieces of rock and debris begin to fly straight up in the air, a slight crater beginning to develop under Control Freak's feet. Finally, after what seemed like hours (but instead was merely a few minutes), there was blinding flash of yellow light, not unlike the one Control Freak had used to escape the day before. When Starfire's emerald eyes regained the focus, the nerdy super villain stood before her with his hair even more pointer than it before. But what was once jet black and now become bright blond, with an equally brilliant yellow aura surrounding him. The aura seemed to glow and pulsate, giving off a very faint sound that sounded something like "TSOO TSOO TSOO TSOO TSOO."

"Ha ha ha! You fool, are you so eager to die?" Control Freak taunted. Starfire just continued to stare on, words failing to describe the sheer spectacle she had just witnessed. "Now," he added, "I shall ask you again. Be my bride or suffer the consequences!"

"I shall never be your bride even if you were the last man on Grobnar 7!" Starfire proudly declared. Her eyes had returned to a solid shade of green, with massive starbolts ready for discharge in each tightly bundled fist.

"INSOLENT WORM! Today is the day you shall perish!" Control Freak said and immediately placed both open palms together at the wrist and drew them to the side of his body. He held this for a split second or two, before finally thrusting them out in front of him while loudly shouting "GALICK GUN!"

A sudden rush of fuschia-toned energy flew at the slender Tammaranian. With little time to react, Starfire left her feet and flew straight for the corpulent ne'er-do-well, firing a smartly timed starbolt which perfectly dissipated the Galick Gun and caught Control Freak smack dab in the chest.

"OOMMPFFFFFF!" was all Control Freak managed to say as the sheer force of the blast send him reeling across the park, his gelatinous frame colliding squarely with a Jungle Gym, causing a massive tangled web of metal and blue spandex.

"Owwwww! That really hurt!" he whined, his voice resuming it's normal high pitch as he managed to untangle his limbs from the twisted web of steel. His blue spandex had several random tears and holes in them, his white chest protector now with a large hole in the middle, fully exposing his hairy chest to a blushing Starfire. "Well this chapter isn't going how I had planned..." he grumbled to himself.

Starfire stood floating a foot or so off the ground, eyes a solid green, starbolts once again charged in her tightly balled fists. Control Freak shook his brain back together, knocking off the mental cob-webs that had taken residence from his collision with the Jungle Gym. He smirked in a cocky arrogant manner at the Tammaranian's display of power. "You shall come quietly." she said.

Control Freak cackled loudly at this, his voice back to it's gravely, deep tone. "If you think that hurt then you are sadly mistaken! I AM THE PRINCE OF ALL SAIYANS!" he once again bellowed. "And this fight is finished!" Control Freak immediately extended his arms outwards from the side of his body and placing the base of his palms together, he shouted "FINAL FLASH!" and unleashed a massive blast of bright yellow energy.

Starfire "EEEK!"ed out of surprise and quickly shot back her own starbolts, the two beams connecting in the middle, causing a huge pent up ball of power to bubble and form.

"This is it, Koriand'r! Our glorious finale!" he shouted, flexing his Jell-O body mass in an attempt to increase the beam's strength. It was surprisingly strong, but Starfire was still stronger. Her eyes flashed an even brighter green and spoke loudly in her native tongue, saying "Slopform! Ond gudshik zerrole!" and doubled the power of her starbolts, adding her eyebolts to the cause.

"Hehehe...she looks really pretty when she speaks Tammaranian..." Control Freak thought to himself.

This proved to be a drastic mistake as his fan boy drooling caused his guard to drop and the combined force of the Final Flash, starbolts and eyebolts blasted him directly into the solar plexus. The mere raw strength of such an attack sent the nerdy supper villain way into the sky.

"Looks like Control Freak is blasting off again!" he managed to shout till he was nothing more than a dot in the horizon.

Starfire's eyes returned to their normal emerald shine, with the crimson haired beauty flashing a quick smile and waving to the stunned on-lookers.

"Hello friends! Glorious day today, is it not?" she said, still smiling. The citizens merely returned to their normal activities, having grown used to such excitement from living in Jump City. When all eyes had left her, Starfire breathed a sigh of relief and returned her attention to Silkie, who had been wailing out of hunger throughout the entire battle.

"Come, my little bumgorf, and let us retrieve the food for us to eat!"


	4. Hasta La Vista, Cyborg

So I'm glad everyone is having a good time with this story as it's been an absolute BLAST for me to write! Next to Punk Rocket, Control Freak is such a great villain to do. He's just so damn nerdy! And for the record, the Dominic mentioned in this chapter is completely different than the Dominic in "Vampire Heart". Anyway, enough with the chit-chat, let's get on with the show...

* * *

"Yo Dominic! What's up, man?" 

Cyborg was happy. Very happy.

Dominic Foley, manager of Full-Auto Auto Parts, had called the cybernetic Titan to inform him that the dual plasma horse power injectors for the T-Car had arrived.

"It's the strangest thing..." Dominic informed Cyborg. "The only company that makes these parts is WayneTech and they usually reserve it for military use only. But when I mentioned it was for the Teen Titans, I guess Bruce Wayne personally authorized the sale of it." Cyborg just shrugged, not really caring how it happened, just as long as he got them in the first place.

"Wayne must like super heroes or something...now enough with the chit-chat, let's see those beauties!" he gushed. Dominic went into the back room for a moment or two, before returning with the bright, gleaming chrome of the dual plasma horse power injectors. "So...beautiful..." Cyborg said quietly, wiping a tear from his eyes. "Should...have sent...a poet..."

Sensing the odd look from Dominic, Cyborg cleared his throat, speaking once again in his normal tone and inflection "I mean...wow, what a great piece of machinery. So how much do I owe you?"

"That's another weird thing. It's free. WayneTech didn't charge me a damn thing. So I guess it's on the house, Cy..." Dominic said.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa...slow down...you mean to tell me I don't have to pay anything?"

"You will pay with your life." came a heavily accented, Austrian voice. Out from the shadows stepped Control Freak. Though instead of the proud Saiyan warrior garb he had when he did battle with Starfire, he was now sporting black leather pants, black boots, a simple white tee-shirt and a black leather jacket. His hair was back to it's normal reddish-orange, but was now cut to a perfectly trimmed buzz cut. A dark pair of sunglasses decorated his face and resting comfortable in his hands was a 12-gage, gas powered, assault shotgun. Cyborg groaned audibly.

"Man, can't you just give it a rest, Control Freak?" Cyborg asked. "We whupped your butt with the big robot thingie, Star whupped your butt when you were that vegetable dude and now this?"

"My name is not Control Freak. I am Cyberdyne Systems Series 850 Model 101 Cybernetic Android. I have been sent from the future to terminate you."

Cyborg just looked on confused, trying to decipher Control Freak's thick accent and piece together his words. "Look man, I don't know what your problem is but you're starting to get on my nerves!" he said, as he fired up his sonic cannon. "So I'm gonna give your sorry butt to the count of 3 to get out of here before I blast you halfway to Gotham...1...2...3!" And without wasting a further moment blasted Control Freak square in the head, hoping the concussive force would knock him out.

When the bright blue beam of pure sonic energy connected with the nerdy villain, it sent him reeling into a nearby rack of air fresheners, causing a cascade of scented pieces of cardboard to fly in the air.

"That was easy!" Cyborg said to himself, grinning from ear to ear. Then slowly, ever so slowly, Control Freak stood up and turned to face Cyborg, the Titan in complete shock. "There has to be a glitch in my visual input feed..." he stammered.

Control Freak's entire left side of his face was completely missing, but instead of a gory carnage of blood and tissue, there was a metal cybernetic endoskeleton, with a glowing red eye similar to Cyborg's.

"What in the..." was all the metal Titan could muster.

"Protocol 24-VS-TT – The extreme termination of Cyborg of the Teen Titans. Hasta La Vista...baby." Control Freak said as he easily swung the deadly shotgun into his hands. Cyborg quickly fired a defensive sonic blast to distract Control Freak long enough to get Dominic out of the way.

"Dominic! Get down!" Cyborg shouted, pushing the store manager into the break room and slamming the door behind him. Control Freak fired off some shells in Cyborg's direction, with the Titan ducking behind a display of rubber tires just in the nick of time.

"You can not run. You can not hide. Resistance is futile." Control Freak offered, reloading his shotgun.

"Man, what is your problem? You got a brain tumor or something?" asked Cyborg.

"It's a not a tumor!" came Control Freak's reply as he fired more shots in the general direction of Cyborg's tire fortress. Cyborg flipped open the communicator on his wrist in a desperate attempt to call for backup. But instead of getting Starfire, Robin, Raven or even Beast Boy, he was greeted with nothing but static. Somehow Control Freak was blocking his signal.

"Alright you Radioshack reject, I don't know how you got yourself all roboty, but you're going down now!" and with a mighty "RRAARRGGGGHH!" Cyborg chucked a Goodyear 24" ATT tire at the Controlinator with as much as strength as he could muster. His aim was true as the tire connected right in Control Freak's bulbous chest with amazing accuracy. Reeling from the projectile tire, Control Freak staggered back a bit before colliding with a wall of car batteries, which avalanched on him like demented Lego bricks.

"And stay down!" Cyborg barked, now having both his sonic cannons trained on the battery pile.

Instantly Control Freak shot up and instead of his normal 12 gage, now possessed a massive gatling gun with a laser sight that pointed square at Cyborg's forehead.

"Ulp"

Cyborg swallowed his spit and quickly dove behind the front counter, seeking shelter behind a large, empty gas tank.

**RAT-TAT-RAT-TAT-RAT-TAT-RAT-TAT-RAT-TAT**

The Controlinator spread the bullets in a wide pattern over the general area where Cyborg was. "You will be terminated. There is no escape." he reminded, in his accented, monotone voice. The bullets were whizzing and zinging by, piercing through the faux-wood of the front counter, slicing through nearby auto parts and barely missing Cyborg's hulking metal frame.

"Ok Cyborg...let's think here..." the Titan thought to himself. "Sonic cannon just seems to blast his fake skin off...need something a bit more hands on..." A quick inspection of the area displayed just what he needed...a massive muffler and exhaust pipe, probably for a semi-truck. "Bingo!" Cyborg said grinning. Now clutching the massive metal in his hand, he charged up the hydraulic spring launchers in his legs and with a triumphant cry of "BOO-YAH!" launched himself in the air, swinging the Muffler of Doom to connect solely on the side of the Controlinator's head.

CLANG!

Cyborg used all of his strength, both cybernetic and from his own muscles and the results were obvious. Control Freak zinged across the room like a baseball that had been crushed by Sammy Sosa. The cyber-nerd crashed headfirst into a display showcasing the amazing properties of "TRU-COAT 10-W-40 MOTOR OIL" not only dousing him in thick globs of motor oil, but also causing the engine display to fall and crush his right foot. Sparks flew everywhere as a tangled mess of wires snaked wildly from the destroyed cybernetic appendage.

"STATUS REPORT – lower left appendage inoperable." Control Freak said to himself. Sitting down from the force of Cyborg's Muffler of Doom, he effortlessly hurled the massive engine block towards his attacker.

"Whoa!" said Cyborg, side stepping the massive auto part. Control Freak slowly rose, struggling to maintain his balance with his one good limb.

"Resistance is futile. You will be terminated."

"Terminate this!" shouted Cyborg, as his large metal fist connected with Control Freak straight in his metal teeth and once again, his body went flying with harsh intensity. The Controlinator slammed through a nearby wall and into the parking lot where he crashed through the front windshield of Dominic's car, promptly setting off the car alarm.

WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOP EEERH EEERH EEERH OOGA OOGA WEEW WEEW WEEW

By this time the Controlinator was in rough shape, to say the least. He crawled from the wreckage of what was once Dominic's car, most of his artificial skin having been torn away in several places, his body quickly losing power as Cyborg had damaged his energy matrix core.

"Power level...failing...mission...at risk...self-destruct activated..."

"Self-destruct!" Cyborg spat out. "Aww hell naw!"

Quickly Cyborg grabbed Control Freak by the neck and hurriedly chucked him high into the air. The Controlinator flew like a missile, straight and true, into the wild blue yonder. When he reached an incredible distance, a passenger in a passing by airplane was seriously disturbed insisting that "He...saw...something on the wing!", Control Freak exploded in a brilliant flash of white light, completely incinerating himself and sadly, a small pigeon that was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"Did...I just kill Control Freak?" Cyborg wondered quietly.

"Hmmph! You'll never get rid of me!"

Out from the bushes came the real Control Freak holding a modified Gamestation 720 controller in his hand that he had been using to control his robotic clone. "Do you realize how much it cost me to make that? I went without Ramen for an entire month! I nearly starved!"

Cyborg just stared at Control Freak...then at the spot in the sky where his cybernetic doppleganger was...then back at Control Freak. "My head hurts..." he finally said.

"It was all supposed to work! My robot was going to terminate you once and for all and I would finally be rid of one less Teen Titan." Control Freak whined. "Do you have any idea of how mad I ammmaaaahhhh!"

Control Freak was cut off in mid-sentence as Cyborg grabbed a hold of his "I HEART EVA" tee-shirt and hoisted the chubby villain a foot or so off his feet.

"Now you listen here...first you attack Star and now you attack me AND trash my favorite store? Ain't goin' down like that, little man."

Control Freak laughed in Cyborg's face, his chronic halitosis making Cyborg's eye water.

"Haha, you expect me to be intimated by you, a walking Apple II computer? You may have the technology, but I have magic...arcane magic, to be exact! Hope you brought your 20 sided dice!" Control Freak said, and in the blink of an eye teleported out of Cyborg's hands.

"I need a vacation..." Cyborg said, sighing to himself.

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY STORE?"

It was Dominic's voice and he was not happy. His entire store was in ruins. Motor oil was slung over the walls like a small child's finger painting mis-adventures gone horribly wrong. Random car parts were smashed, dented or just downright crushed. One of the main walls was completely smashed through and to rub salt in the wound, Dominic's car was nothing more than a destroyed heap of smashed neon tubes and annihilated spinner rims.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY STORE?" Dominic again demanded to know.

Cyborg just blushed and scratched the back of his head, a bad habit he had picked up from Beast Boy.

"Oh...hey Dominic! About your store...yeah man...sorry about that. Just..uhhh put it on my tab."


	5. D&D&BB

From this point on, the story is going to be a bit more intense, as Control Freak "steps up his game" in order to defeat the Titans, as he's getting desperate at this point.

* * *

Control Freak sighed as he furiously paced around his apartment, the nerdy super villain's patience wearing thin. So far he had made three attacks on the Teen Titans and with each one failing miserably, was not happy. He grunted something incoherent and furrowed his brow out of complete disgust, his mind racing to review what he did wrong.

"It just doesn't make sense..." he finally muttered. "My Gundam should have been more than enough to stop the Teen Twerps and to think that a low-class Tammaranian princess is stronger than the Price of all Saiyans! BAH!"

He attempted to calm his nerves by stuffing his face with several sticks of strawberry Pocky. He continued to speak to himself, but large, partially chewed chunks of Pocky fell out of his mouth onto his carpet.

"And don't even get me started on Cyborg! That was so cheap using car parts as a weapon!"

The chubby super villain...

"You know, I'm getting rather irritated with all these fat jokes!"

"Yeah, that's right, I heard you!"

Excuse me?

"You've been cracking jokes about my weight this entire story and it's starting to get on my last nerve!"

What? I'm the All Powerful Narrator, I can frankly do whatever I want.

"Haha, you really think you contain more power than I, the great Control Freak? You are what the Klingon's call a ta-ka koh-rungf! That means, 'a fool who is ready for death'."

Wow. Just wow.

"Impressed aren't you?"

Suddenly, without warning, Control Freak decided to to play Britney Spears on his CD player.

"Hey! What are you doing!"

The nerdy super villain rather enjoyed the music, finding that Ms. Spears' lyrics and bombastic beat were addicting. So addicting that he began to dance around the room, shaking his groove thing all over the apartment.

"Stop it! Must...fight...dancing...some...sort...of...alien...mind control...not...talk...in...fragments..."

Control Freak danced around the room, singing, laughing, spinning and just downright getting groovy. The music played it's beat as the lovely Britney Spears continued to make Control Freak shake it like a Polaroid picture all over his apartment. And since the song was on repeat, he wouldn't stop dancing...unless...

"ANYTHING! Just make...it stop!"

Unless Control Freak shuts up and will allow the Narrator (who is quite handsome, I might add) to do his job.

"Fine!"

The music stopped abruptly, Control Freak collapsed to his knees panting and wheezing at how out of shape he really was. He managed to crawl over to his couch and collapse on it, laying on his back as he tried to piece together where his previous plans went wrong.

"It's obvious I need to step up my game." he thought out loud. "No more robots or anime characters. As long as they're in this world, I have no chance."

A sly grin spread on his face.

"But, if I took them to MY world, where they had to play by MY rules, things would be different! Time to find my Dungeon Master book..."

* * *

Decisions.

For someone who was wise beyond her years, Raven sometimes had difficulty making decisions, especially when it came to literature. She loved books, it was her addiction and she couldn't help it. She loved nothing more than to relax with a good book, curling up on the couch as she was whisked away to whatever story she was engaged in.

The pale empath was currently at King's Books, along with Beast Boy, who was happily engrossed in the comic book section. Raven rose an eyebrow as she contemplated on what her next purchase should be, with each book seemingly more and more temping than the last.

"Hey Rae! Check this out!" came Beast Boy's voice suddenly, as he ran eagerly to his girlfriend's side. "Dude, this is so awesome...I was reading the latest issue of the _Crises of the Infinite House Identity of M Rebirth or Die: Graduation Day_ and like, in this one part, Darkclaw was fighting Iron Lantern, right? And dude, Darkclaw was all like 'You cannot stop me! I am Darkclaw!' and Iron Lantern was like 'DUDE! I am Iron Lantern! Bow before me!' and there was explosions, and chaos and buildings were destroyed, right? And then the zombies came out and it turns out they're all from Jump City-2 in an alternate dimension and then the WORLD EXPLODED!" he gushed in a non-stop, high pitched squeal of over-enthusiasm. His emerald eyes were shimmering with nerdy, fan-boy delight.

"Wow." Raven said dryly, her voice dull in tone and pitch. Beast Boy's ears sagged a bit, seeing that she didn't share his love of the comic book.

"I guess you're not interested?" he said quietly.

"Obviously." she deadpanned. Beast Boy sulked a bit and turned around to drown out his disappointment in more Dark Claw versus Iron Lantern action. He was cut off though with a pale hand reached out to grab his hand.

"Gar...wait..."

Beast Boy turned around, half expecting to be lectured on the childish nature of comic books. Instead, he was more than pleasantly surprised to find himself being kissed. Though it was a rather unusual kiss from her. Instead of just full on full lip contact, she gently brushed her lips against his, letting the soft flesh of her lips trace and feather the contours of his mouth. When she finished, a smile spread on the corner of her mouth. She normally wasn't the teasing kind, but she rather enjoyed keeping him wanting more.

"Didn't want to end that on a bad note." she said.

Beast Boy sat in shock for a second, till he spread his usual toothy grin and reached forward to encompass her in huge hug. "I love you!" he gushed loudly, not caring if the whole store heard him.

"Gar..I love you too...but..."

"But what?" Beast Boy asked, his voice tinged with a sense of worry.

"I need to breathe. I swear, you're worse than Starfire."

Beast Boy let go and blushed slightly, uttering a quick "Sorry" before returning to his beloved comic book section, leaving Raven back to her previous dilemma. She studied the spines of each book, having narrowed it down between Stephen King or her favorite author, H.P. Lovecraft.

"Excuse me ma'am, but may I please have your autograph?" came a familiar sounding voice. Raven tore her attention away from her books to see Control Freak standing a mere inches from her. Though, along with his natural stringy, oily hair, his costume was exactly the same as normal, with one exception. He was wearing those obnoxious comic gag glasses...the ones with the bushy eyebrows and huge nose, in a pathetic attempt to disguise himself.

"Go away." she said flatly and returned her focus to her books.

"Hmmppfhh. Some public figure you are." he scoffed, irritated that his plan wasn't working.

"Some villain you are." she shot back in an icy monotone. "At least Puppet King gave us a run for our money."

"ARRGGGHHH! I am so much better than PUPPET KING!" Control Freak bellowed with a nerdy rage, adding "That's it!" as he flung off his gag glasses. Immediately from his trench coat, Control Freak produced a glowing book and flung open it's pages. A bright red tendril shot from it's pages and wrapped itself around Raven's slender waist. She fought back with her own powers, but the book was too much.

"GAR!" she cried. "I need help!"

In a flash Beast Boy rushed to his girlfriend's defense, turning himself into an elephant and wrapping his thick trunk around Raven, trying to tug her free from the red tendril. Even with the combined efforts of both Titans, they still weren't enough and soon they were pulled into the book. Control Freak laughed in an over-the-top, maniacal fashion and facing the book to himself, was sucked into it's void as well.

* * *

"Ugghhh...my head..." Raven said slowly, as her violet eyes slowly opened. She sat up and glanced around to size up her surroundings. The book store was gone and it's place were miles and miles of country side. Beautiful skies, serene green grass and off in the distance she could make out...a castle?

"Where am I?" she wondered and then immediately thought "Wait...where's Gar?" Her mind raced in a quick panic before she noticed her beau was laying right next to where she was, completely unconscious and oddly enough, dressed completely as a court jester. "Gar...Gar..." she said softly, nudging him back to consciousness.

"...I'm sorry, but our Princess is another castle..." Beast Boy droned. His scrambled brains slowly regaining their composure, till he was able to piece together what was going on. "DUDE!" he squealed "Where am I? And why why are you dressed like THAT?" he added.

It was then for the first time that Raven noticed her own wardrobe. Gone was her cloak and leotard and it's place was a frilly, bright pink dress made of the finest fabrics. "I look like a car wreck between Snow White and Cinderella." she groaned. "What about yourself?"

"AH! Dude! I'm a joker! But not like...the bad dude Joker, an actual joker! Raven, where in the name of tofu are we?"

"_You are neither in Dagobah or the planet Hoth_

_Welcome young Titans, to the kingdom of Roth!"_

Sitting on a nearby rock sat a young man, apparently in his mid-20's, clad in rather nice peasant wear, happily strumming a stringed musical instrument. Apparently, it was him who sang the short little verse about being in the kingdom of Roth.

"Roth is such a terrible name..." Raven thought to herself.

The peasant smiled and nodded as Raven and Beast Boy just stared back at him in shock.

"Who...are you?" Beast Boy asked.

"_My life for Control Freak, I work for him_

_I have many names, but you may call me Tim"_

"Fine Tim." said Raven. "How did we get here?"

"_Is it not obvious, my dear? Take a look!_

_For you are trapped in Control Freak's book!"_

"So...uhhh...how do we get out?" Beast Boy asked.

"_Gather green child and listen to me_

_The way to home is through the Golden Key!"_

Raven let out a long and bitter sigh of irritation, as Tim's musical anecdotes were causing her Azarathian blood to boil. "I'm know I'm going to regret this...but where exactly is this golden key? And Control Freak for that matter?" she asked.

"_The goth girl is angry and wishes to cease to wander_

_Control Freak and key can be found in castle yonder!"_

"This is seriously getting annoying." said Raven, a vein twitching in her forehead.

"Dude, tell me about it." Beast Boy said in agreement. "I mean, Tim is good and all, but he's no Backstreet Boy."

"You listen to Backstreet Boys?" Raven asked with a curious eyebrow.

"Well...uhhh...so I've been told." Beast Boy stammered in response, laughing nervously. "Thanks for the info, uhh Tim was it? But Raven and I have to be on our way now to 'yonder castle.' Thanks again for everything, dude."

"Yeah, sure no problem." Tim said, disappearing in a cloud of smoke.

Raven took another bitter sigh and focusing her mind, began to float in the air, happy she still had powers in this cracked up fantasy world.

"Come Gar." she said. Beast Boy quickly morphed into a hawk and flew side by side, next to his Azarathian goddess as the two flew together towards yonder castle to find the golden key to return home.


	6. Chapter d6

Well now I have to say, this story has been barrels of fun. And so he won't strangle me, the title of this chapter came courtesy of SxStrngSamurai13. Go check out his work and tell him Zissman sent ya! Now, let's get on with the show...

PS – If anybody can catch all the zombie references in this chapter, then you my friend are seriously awesome.

Oh and of course, I don't own any of these franchises.

* * *

Raven gently glided down in front of the castle, which of course was surrounded by a large moat. The castle was large and mossy, seemingly having stood there for centuries. A flag, which Raven could only assume was Control Freak's coat of arms, features his souped up remote control and a light saber crossed over a King's crown.

"Typical." she thought to herself.

Beast Boy changed back into his human form in mid-air and fell to the ground in a crouched position, merely for dramatic purposes, this causing the bells on his jester's cap to jingle.

"Whoa, dude...this is where Control Freak lives? I wonder if he rented the place from Bill Gates or something?" Beast Boy said. He craned his neck back as far as he could to see just how big the castle was. The massive structure was huge, with blocks carved out of thick stone making up the Goliath-like outer walls. "So...uhh...how do we get in? I don't see a doorbell."

Raven eyes flashed white and with her fists shrouded in black, it only took a mere "AZARATH METRION ZINTHOS!" and the heavy wooden drawbridge was encased in Raven's dark powers. Without warning, the drawbridge hit the ground and with a loud WHAM sent a cloud of dirt and dust into the air.

"I've got a bad feeling about this..." Beast Boy mused, an uneasy, nervous feeling brewing in the green changeling's stomach.

"We don't have much a choice." said Raven. "If we're even going to get out of this nerd-haven, we have to take Control Freak head on."

Beast Boy sighed. "I hate it when you're right..." he said.

"This is why I'm the smart one in this relationship." Raven replied with a sly smirk.

The two Titans began to cross the drawbridge and into the inner sanctum of Castle Freak, with Beast Boy's mind a million miles away, as he was lost in deep thought.

"Dude...this is messed up..." he thought. "Just once I'd like for some alone time with Raven, but nooooo, Control Freak has to go and ruin it! This is probably why Batman never has a girlfriend..."

His thoughts were abruptly cut off by the sound of Raven tripping over the glittery pink high heels she was wearing. The pale empath fell down to her knees, tearing away the silky fabric of the princess dress and scraping up her knees.

Beast Boy was eager to run to her side to aid her, but the empath merely waved him off.

"I'm fine, Gar." she said, making her way back to her feet. A quick inspection showed that her knees were rather cut up and bleeding, due to the old weathered wood of the draw bridge. With a sigh, she encased both her hands in a pale blue glow and laying them on her wounds, healed herself.

"How anyone can walk in these infernal things is beyond me." she scoffed and proceeded to kick off her heels into the moat. "I'd rather go barefoot then wear heels."

Taking one more second to make sure she was ok, Beast Boy followed Raven into the front door of Castle Freak.

It was dark inside, very dark. So dark that Beast Boy and Raven couldn't see a foot in front of their own faces and on top of that, there was the most hideous stench that torched their noses. Beast Boy quickly morphed into a bat to send out his sonar waves to figure out the layout of the inner castle.

"Find anything?" Raven asked.

Beast Boy quickly changed back to his human form and instantly grabbed Raven's hand. The Azarathian could feel that his grip was cold and clammy.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Someone...is here with us.." Beast Boy said in a panicked whisper. At that exact moment, torches all around the throne room, which is where they had been all along, flared up and began casting their fiery glow. Seated up a tall flight of red, carpeted stairs sat Control Freak. On his head was an extravagant crown made of solid gold and encrusted with sparking jewels. He had on a flowing red robe, lined with fur and in his right hand was a gold scepter, with a remote control dipped in gold resting on the top.

"Welcome Titans, to Castle Freak!" he gloated with glee. "You're perhaps wondering what the awful smell you've been experiencing is? Haha, I've love to tell you, but I think I know someone who can say it better than I can..."

With a poof of smoke appeared Tim, standing right in front of Control Freak, his stringed instrument right in his hands.

"Not Tim..." Raven groaned. "Anyone but Tim..."

Tim flashed a million dollar smile and giving his instrument a warm up strut, began to sing his next little diddy...

_They feast on flesh, like it was made of bread_

_Meet thy doom at the hands of the undead_

"Un...dead?" Beast Boy croaked, swallowing the lump that was forming in his throat.

_Soon you'll be reduced to crimson stains_

_On the menu tonight are YOUR brains_

A large drapery behind Control Freak fell to the ground and Raven saw the source of the smell.

Zombies.

Hordes and hordes of zombies, all in various states of decay. Their moans sent shivers down the empath's spine, something that was hard to do, needless to say.

Beast Boy, however, was not to be intimated.

"Zombies. I hate zombies." he said fiercely.

Control Freak cackled loudly with glee, with Tim sharing in his joy of their diabolical plan.

"And now, my army of darkness, ATTACK!" Control Freak shouted. Tim was quick to join in the fun.

_They are fierce and deadly, like the chubacabra_

_Look out! "They're coming to get you, Barbara!"_

The first zombie lunged towards Raven, his mouth agape. moaning incoherently. Raven flew up her hands and with a quick "AZARATH METRION ZINTHOS!" illuminated the ghoul in her dark energy and with a mere wave of her hand, sent the zombie flying against a stone pillar.

The undead hit the solid rock and with a sickening SNAP, Raven heard it's neck break.

And then slowly, the ghoul returned to his feet, his neck an impossible angle and again lunged for Raven.

"How do you keep these things down!" she asked, her voice rising with panic. Beast Boy morphed into a gorilla, and grabbing a spear from the wall, chucked it at that zombie with the spear going straight through the ghoul's brain. The zombie let out one last moan before collapsing on the ground in a heap.

"Like that." he said, after changing back to human. "You take out the brain and these undead dudes die...again..."

"And how do you know this?"

"I saw a movie about it once!" he said beaming. Raven opened her mouth to comment about how anyone for the love of Azar could possibly take a movie about zombie killing seriously, but she had to hold that thought when another three zombies creeped up behind her and before she had time to react, one of them had grabbed her arm, ready to sink it's rotten, broken and jagged teeth into her tender flesh.

In a panic Raven spun away, tearing some of the glittery pink fabric of her dress away from the sleeves and using a kick she learned from Robin, connected with the side of her bare foot against the mid-section of one of her attackers. Much to her disgust, her foot sunk into the necroflesh of the zombie, coating her slender appendage in a thick gooey substance.

Raven's nose wrinkled out of disgust, feeling like she was going to throw up at any moment. Now irritated and revolted, Raven threw out her hands and belted her mantra as loud as she could. All three zombies were surrounded in Raven's own brand of magic, floating 10 or so feet in the air. She held them there for a second, while gorilla Beast Boy was smashing deadite skulls with his bare hands, and promptly closed both her hands into fists. The ball suddenly shrank drastically in size, crushing the zombies into nothing more than a pile of decomposing bones and rancid flesh.

"ARRRGGGHHH! MORE ZOMBIES!" Control Freak shouted, his arms and legs kicking and flailing in the air with his royal temper tantrum.

A side door opened and more zombies poured into the room, their numbers seemingly to get bigger and bigger. Moaning, clawing, rotting undead deadites were as numerous as flies as just as annoying, if not leaps and bounds more deadly.

During all of this chaos, gorilla Beast Boy was smashing and crushing zombie skulls like over-ripe cantaloupes in his large primate hands. Entire legions of zombies were smashed with his powerful primate fists, showering his green fur in carnage and gore. More and more the zombies filed in the room, the two titans desperately using everything they could muster to stay alive...one bite and it's over.

By this point Raven's pink princess dress was caked in blood, with various pieces of fabric torn off from over-eager zombies.

"ENOUGH!" she bellowed, her patience having finally snapped. Raising her hands to the air she chanted "AZARATH METRION ZINTHOS KLATA BARATU NIKTU!"

A solid wave of black flew from her hands and surrounded every brick, every tile, every inch of the castle and all the zombies under Control Freak's command instantly exploded into thousands of tiny pieces, ending their second grasp at life.

A rather macabre looking Raven, fire dancing in her violet eyes, stormed up the steps to Control Freak's throne and before the nerdy super villain could escape, a black claw rose up from the ground and wrapped itself around him.

"CONTROL FREAK!" Raven shouted. "Take us home now!"

"TIM! HELP ME!" he shouted, his voice cracking with fear. Tim merely shook his head.

_The dreaded zombies will hack and cleave_

_Thanks, but no thanks and now I will leave_

And just like he had appeared, Tim vanished in a cloud of smoke. Control Freak laughed nervously as Raven hoisted him at least 20 feet in the air with her powers.

"Home. Now." she reminded him.

"FINE!" Control Freak finally snapped. "Just put me down!"

Raven obliged and unceremoniously flung the nerdy former king to the ground with a loud thud. Control Freak stood up and dusted himself off, sneering at the blood soaked Titans. A hot bath is exactly what Raven had in mind to help wind down from this evening.

But such was not the case as Control Freak reached into his pocket and produced a small, golden key.

"GOODBYE TITANS!" he shouted and ran straight for a swirling portal that had just opened a few feet from him as soon as the key was in his hands.

Not wanting to let him escape, Beast Boy morphed into an elephant and wrapped his long trunk around Control Freak's waist to yank him back to this world, but the pull of the vortex was too much and the green elephant found himself being pulled along as well. Raven instinctively reached out and grabbed the animal's ropey tail and soon all three were sucked into the vortex.

* * *

"Duudddee...my head..." Beast Boy groaned. "Am I still a joker dude?"

He patted himself down but to his surprise, found his medieval garb was gone and instead was wearing a plain brown robe. So was Raven, who was just getting to her feet next to him.

"Dude, why am I dressed like a monk?" he wondered out loud. "And what's this metal thing on my hip?"

Beast Boy reached down to his hip and removed the small metal tube like object. It had some sort of opening on the top and various buttons and wires on the side. It looked so familiar, like he'd seen it somewhere before...

"DUDE!" he squealed. "It's a lightsaber!"

Raven just groaned audibly.

"Great, so now we're stuck in another nerdy dream come true? This day just keeps getting better and better..."

It was then Beast Boy's ears picked up the sound of heavy boots approaching, accompanied by a deep, heavy breathing. He swallowed his spit as he knew it could only mean one person...

DARTH FREAK

Dark Freak was just like Beast Boy had pictured. Black Jedi armor encompassed every inch of his body, a glowing red lightsaber clutched tightly in his gloved hand.

"Do not worry, rebel scum. For your time in this world draws to a close."


	7. May The Farce Be With You

PLEASE DON'T SUE ME GEORGE LUCAS! OK? K THX.

* * *

Beast Boy quickly flipped the switch on his lightsaber, finding comfort in the low hum of his weapon. It had a glowing green blade, the exact hue of his skin, with a polished metal hilt that gleamed in the light.

"Ah yes, so you do have a lightsaber." Darth Freak said through his black mask. "The Doom Patrol has taught you well, Beast Boy, however, you are not a Jedi yet."

Beast Boy scowled at the Sith Nerd.

"Dude, don't even go there. I've seen all six movies at least 30 times AND I even own the Christmas special!" the changeling replied, as he clutched his lightsaber in his hands. "And dude, my name is not Beast Boy...I am...LUKE BEASTWALKER...JEDI KNIGHT!"

Raven just sighed, wishing for this whole fiasco to end. "And I'm seriously disturbed." she added in her normal dry monotone.

"Very well then, Luke Beastwalker and Seriously Disturbed. Today is the day you shall die!" Darth Freak said, and raising his lightsaber, charged while aiming at such an angle as to decapitate Beast Boy.

**KRRCCCCCHHH!**

The green and red lightsabers collided as Beast Boy threw up his weapon in a classic defensive maneuver. Darth Freak attempted to over-muscle Beast Boy, but the Titan wouldn't give up so easy.

"This is futile, young padawan." Darth Freak said. "You are destined to die."

"The only thing that's destined to happen to me dude, is kicking your butt!"

With a mighty heave, Beast Boy pushed off the glowing crimson lightsaber away from his person and spun around with an over-head blow that was way stronger that it should have been. Darth Freak managed to block it, but found himself scooting back a foot or two from the pressure Beast Boy was exerting.

"Face it, dude. You're no match for this Jedi. Just let Raven and I go home and we'll call it even..."

Beast Boy emphasized this point by pressing harder with his lightsaber, bringing the red blade inches from Control Freak's face. Darth Freak roared with rage and, using the Dark Side of the Force, Force-pushed Beast Boy to the other side of the room, a mere foot or so from the edge of a massive drop into the reactor core of the Freak Star.

"Impressive, but not enough. Your Makashi fighting style is advanced, this is true. However, you are still no match for the dark side, and my Vapaad style is too strong for you to handle." Darth Freak said.

Beast Boy slowly made his way back to his feet and picked up his lightsaber, effortlessly twirling it around to form a defensive position.

"Trust me on this dude, nobody knows Stars Wars like I do."

"You lie!" Control Freak shouted back in his normal voice, "I'm a 12th level Space Samurai! You're nothing but an avocado that talks!"

"I may be an avocado, but I'm a sexy avocado." Beast Boy said with a smirk.

Fuming at such insolence, Darth Freak charged at Beast Boy ready to resume combat. Beast Boy flipped over the nerdy Sith's head with Force-induced acrobatics and, landing right behind him, swung the green blade off his own lightsaber. Darth Freak spun in a blur and parried the blade away and lunged his own weapon towards the feet of Beast Boy.

Beast Boy leaped 10 feet or so in the air in response, and upon returning to the ground, brought the blade straight down aiming for right between the eyes of Darth Freak.

**KRRCCCCCHHH!**

The red and green lightsabers connected again, sending a small shower of sparks in response.

"Give it up, Control Freak!" said Beast Boy "You can't win! You don't stand a chance!"

Darth Freak again Force-pushed Beast Boy out of the way, but this time the changeling Jedi master was ready and back flipped to a defensive position, his lightsaber illuminating the contours of his face.

"You are a worthy foe, Luke. However, both you and I know your one weakness. Someone you despise even more than me."

"Colonel Sanders?"

"Even more so! I present to you...your greatest enemy!"

A side door opened and walking in was, in fact, Beast Boy's greatest enemy. He stood about six and a half feet tall, with a very lanky appearance to him. He had long, floppy, wide brimmed ears, and two eyes which sat upon fleshy stalks from the top of his head. His body has sort of an amphibious appearance to him, resembling a cross between a duck-billed platypus and a dinosaur. He wore simple leather pants, bare feet, and a leather vest.

"Meesa yousa weesa hellos!" he said, in an annoying high pitched voice.

"YOU!" Beast Boy shouted, now filled with nerd rage. "You...you...SUCK!"

"Meesa sucka? Noose meesa nota sucka. Meesa yousa lika yous!"

"You like me?" Beast Boy said indignantly. "You LIKE me? Dude, don't even go there!"

"Meesa gonna beesa around for dawhile!" the creature said. "Meesa make lotsa monies!"

Reaching his breaking point, Beast Boy let loose a battle cry and charged at the creature, who desperately tried to run away. The creature didn't make it very far as with one VRROOOM of a swinging lightsaber, the creature was cleaved in half.

"Ooohh meesa hurting..." the creature whimpered, before finally kicking the bucket.

Beast Boy shut off his lightsaber and reattached to his belt, relishing in his victory.

"Sorry dude, but you almost made me become a Star Trek fan."

Luke Beastwalker should have never let his guard down, as seeing that the jade skinned Jedi was distracted in his vigilante justice, Darth Freak fully extended his arm with open palm and concentrated with his mastery of the dark side. By the time Beast Boy felt his lightsaber tug on his belt, it was too late.

The jade skinned Jedi's lightsaber flew across the room and smack dab into the open palm of Darth Freak. With the all too familiar ZSHRNOOM, the green lightsaber switched on, arming Darth Freak with two lightsabers.

Beast Boy turned around as fast as he could, only to see the green and red blades aiming straight for him.

"_This is it..._" he thought to himself. "_...I'm a goner._"

**KRRCCCCCHHH!**

Beast Boy opened one eye, wondering if he had made it to heaven, but instead all he saw was blue.

The blue blade of a lightsaber, to be exact. At the end of this blade, holding her own lightsaber, was Raven. The pale empath had swung her own blade at just right moment, blocking Darth Freak's double handed attack.

"Wha-wha..." Darth Freak stammered, the nerdy Sith Lord in complete shock. "You...you're a girl! Girls aren't supposed to know how to be a Jedi..."

"I'm NOT a Jedi." Raven said with a voice cold enough to cause flurries in Hell. "And neither are you, nor Gar. This is all a sick, demented little nerd fantasy that you're carrying out because you want Starfire." the empath scoffed, clearly failing to share in wonderment of a galaxy far, far away.

"It's deeper than that!" Control Freak said, lifting up his black mask to show his face. "I can get all the Tammaranian booty I want, for your information."

"Then what is it?" Raven said with an arched, curious eyebrow.

"It's...you see...SHUT UP!" he bellowed, shoving the mask back on his face angrily and blindly charging at Raven, having fully intended to dice the empath into bite-sized chunks.

Calmly, Raven waited until Darth Freak was a foot or so away from herself, before casually taking a step to the side and extending her ankle. The Sith Nerd tripped, and unceremoniously fell flat on his face, skidding a foot or so on his belly.

"It's over, Control Freak."

"ARGGGHHHHHH!"

Darth Freak spun around with his dual lightsabers, the blades slicing through the air and aimed for Raven's neck.

"AZARAH METRION ZINTHOS!" the empath shouted, summoning a wall of black energy that shot up straight from the ground, causing Darth Freak to smack right into it with a loud "OOMPH!", all four of his limbs splayed around like a human starfish.

"Bug on a windshield!" Beast Boy said, roaring with laughter.

Darth Freak's mask cracked open, causing his lips to press against the black shield, leaving a small trail of Ramen tinged drool as he slid down to a heap on the metal floor of the Freak Star.

"This is pathetic." Raven said. "I didn't think it was possible to soil the name of being a nerd, yet somehow you've managed."

With a sudden jump, Darth Freak mustered his dark Force powers and launched in the air, becoming a spinning whirlwind of lightsabers. The whirlwind spun in place for several seconds, before zooming in on Raven at a blinding pace and speed.

Raven disappeared into the floor, seemingly melting into a black vortex that appeared at her feet. Darth Freak's lightsabers struck the solid metal floor seconds after she had disappeared, sending a shower of sparks flying, and leaving two dark burn marks in their path.

"Argggh! Stay still!" the Sith Nerd said with irritation...but the irritation quickly turned to panic when he realized the pale sorceresses hadn't reappeared yet. "Umm...w-where are you...exactly?" he asked meekly. Beast Boy just grinned.

"You know dude, at first, I was like all into this Jedi stuff, right? But I gotta admit...it's really funny watching Raven hand you your butt!"

"Shut up! That scruffy nerf-herder is nothing to me, I am merely toying with her...yes, of course...I'm toying with her...haha, yes! Because I am so EVVVVIIILLLLL!"

Beast Boy's mood suddenly soured, his eyes narrowing into thin slits.

"Dude...don't _ever _call my girlfriend a NERF HERDER!" he shouted as loud as lungs could muster.

"Oh yeah?" Darth Freak said with a malicious glint in his eye. "Whatcha gonna do about it? I got all the lightsabers.."

"THIS!" Beast Boy replied ferociously and morphed into a bumble bee, zigging and zagging in the air towards Darth Freak.

"Ahhh! A BEE! Getitaway! GETITAWAY!" he screamed breathlessly, blindly swinging his lightsabers in the air. "It's gonna sting!"

Though the bee did not sting. In fact, the bee morphed into a kangaroo in mid-air and lunged his over-sized haunches at the Sith Nerd, sending him flying into the other side of the room, dropping both his lightsabers in the process.

"OHMMFFFNNGGGGHHH!" managed to escape from his lungs, his gelatinous body leaving a small dent in the wall.

"Lightsabers? Lightsabers? We don't need no stinkin' lightsabers!" Beast Boy taunted.

Darth Freak struggled his way back to his feet, breathing deeply to take back in the air that had been smashed out of his lungs from the Kangaroo Kick of Death.

"Lucky..._(cough)_...shot...(_cough)_..."

The Sith Nerd was a bit wobbly on his feet, but he was holding out well enough to focus one last Force attack on Luke Beastwalker. Force Lightning.

It took everything he had, every last drop of the dark side he had left his bulbous body, but he was ready for it.

"And now..._(cough)_...my young Padawan...(_cough)_...this ends..."

Outstretching his hands again, Darth Freak's hands crackled and snapped with evil electronic impulses, his eyes seemingly becoming a sickening shade of yellow, his skin becoming white and pasty (even more so than usual.)

"DIE!" he croaked, the Force Lightning zooming from his finger tips towards the jade Jedi.

"AZARATH METRION ZINTHOS!"

Up from the floor came Raven, now clad back in her leotard and cloak, instead of the Jedi robes she had been in before. Her hands, which were now glowing with black orbs, sent a solid wave of her own dark energy out at the Force Lightning and completely engulfed it. The electrical current danced and tangled itself inside it's black confines, almost as if it were trapped in a glass bottle.

"Ha, do you really think you can overpower my Force Lightning?" Darth Freak scoffed.

"Actually...no." the empath replied dryly. With ease she managed to snake long, black tendrils from beneath her cloak, trapping all of the Force Lightning in it's mystic prison. The tendrils danced in the air, till they were all around Darth Freak, the Sith Nerd too cocky and arrogant to notice what was going on around him.

Before he could grasp the severity of the situation, the black aurora had surrounded him and with the Force Lightning nowhere else to go, it bounced off the walls of the bubble and shot right back at him, frying him to his very core.

"AaarrGgHHHHHHaaahhhhhgghhHHHH!"

Raven let her shield down, Control Freak now smoking like a freshly lit cigarette.

"Fine..." he said weakly. "...you win."

"Took ya long enough..." Beast Boy said, shaking his head.

"We're going home."said Raven, wrapping Control Freak up in dark energy chains and reaching for Beast Boy's hand, clutching it in her slender, pale fingers.

"Whoa whoa whoa, wait...you could have gotten us out of here whenever you wanted?" her green beau inquired.

"Not exactly. When I phased through the floor, I found myself back in the bookstore. It appears whatever Control Freak used to suck us into his book is purely electronic in nature...there's nothing psychic or super-natural about it."

Beast Boy nodded, not grasping entirely what she said, but just happy to be holding her hand. An 'Azarath Metrion Zinthos' later and the three phased up through the floor at King's Books, stunned on-lookers staring in shock.

"Uhh...hey..." Beast Boy said, waving to the ground, still wearing his brown Jedi robe. "When they said I'd get sucked into a book, I never thought they really meant it!" Raven rolled her eyes.

"Finished with the Beast Boy Comedy Hour?" she asked coolly, but the shimmer in her violet eyes let him know she wasn't serious. Entirely serious, at least.

"You got lucky, that's all!" said Control Freak. "I'm not done with the Titans yet! Oh mark my words, there will be a reckoning!" Raven just shook her head.

"Whatever. You can play Star Wars with your cell mate for all I care."

A quick call to the authorities and the cops arrived to take Control Freak off to jail. Raven and Beast Boy made their way outside the store, happy to have the whole incident over with. Beast Boy yawned and stretched his limbs, thinking the Jedi robe was way too thick for a summer in Jump City.

"Well...I dunno about you, but I'm ready for a nap...ready to fly back?" he asked his Azarathian goddess.

"Actually Gar...how about we just walk back? It's...a pretty nice day out." she said with a slight smile.

"AWESOME!" he said, shooting back his toothy grin that she enjoyed so much. The two walked down the sidewalk, side by side, not saying much as they just let their silence allow them to enjoy the other's company As always, Beast Boy was the first to break the silence...

"Hey Rae..."

"Yes Gar?"

"Remember back when you saved me with that lightsaber?"

Raven nodded.

"I remember, why?"

Beast Boy blushed a bit.

"Well...umm...first off, thanks for saving me like that..."

"Your welcome." she said with a smile.

"...and second, you looked totally hot as Jedi!"

Raven sighed for a moment, before leaning over planting a quick peck on Beast Boy's cheek.

"What was that for?" he asked.

"For being you." she said with a smile.

* * *

"Alright, get in the back, scum bag." Officer Harvey said, stuffing Control Freak in the back of the cruiser.

"Watch the head!" Control Freak shouted. "I'm a Jedi master!"

Cuffed and stuffed, Control Freak was sitting the back of police cruiser 7182, heading to the slammer for some hard time...or so the public thought. In reality, these were merely police androids Control Freak had use to pose as police officers.

"Here. You. Are. Master." the 'Officer Harvey' bot droned in a robotic voice, unlocking Control Freak's handcuffs.

"Excellent my pawn! Go back into the city and await further orders!"

"Yes. Master."

Control Freak trudged back up the stairs to his apartment and, locking his door, collapsed on the couch. He was exhausted and sore from head to toe. After a moment or two of self-loathing, he stood up and wearily went to the medicine cabinet, grumbling to himself.

"Stupid Starfire...so hot and won't even give a real man like me the time of day.."

"Stupid Cyborg...thinks he's so cool because he's half robot. HA! What a newb."

"Stupid Raven...who takes goths seriously, anyways? Probably has a whiny LiveJournal..."

"Stupid Beast Boy...thinks he got out-nerd me? HA! I am King!"

He angrily fiddled around inside the medicine cabinet, trying in vain to find his over-the-counter pain pills. Finally, his meaty paw found a box of Valu-Rite 24-Hr Pain Pills. He ripped open the box and produced one of the red gell pills...

...and a wicked smile creaked it's way on his face.

"So Robin thinks he's the one, eh? Well I'll show him! I'll show him just how deep the rabbit hole goes!"


	8. The Freaktrix

Oohh boy, if you thought I went into nerdy detail on the last chapter...you ain't see nuthin' yet. BTW, this is based off the the Matrix trilogy. If you haven't seen them yet, at least see the first one!

* * *

"Welcome to Z-MAX 103.5! You're talking to the J-Man, Johnny Thunder! Now who am I speaking with?"

"Omhygawd, am I on the air? Am I on the air?"

"Yes you are, lil' lady. This is the J-Man, Johnny Thunder! Now who I am speaking with?"

"OH GAWWDDDD! YESSS! Ok, ok, ok, ok, ok, ok...umm...my name is Joy."

"Ok Joy! So for the chance to win a mask autographed by ROBIN himself, tell me...what is Robin's favorite color?"

"Ok, ok, ok, ok...I know this...I know this...is it...green?"

"Congratulations! You win the mask!"

What followed was such a intense, ear piercing screech of what Robin could only assume was Joy being happy. It was so loud that the Boy Wonder had to take his headphones off so he wouldn't wind up deaf.

"Go ahead and say something." the J-Man, Johnny Thunder whispered to Robin, with his hand over the microphone. Robin's facial expression twisted and contorted like that of a man who was forced to swallow a large gulp of sour milk.

"Uh, congratulations...Joy, was it?"

"OHMYGAWD HE TALKED TO ME! Robin! I wanna rip off your costume and..."

"Ok, I think that's enough for now..." said the J-Man, Johnny Thunder. "Just a quick word from our sponsors and we'll be back with another non-stop 30 minutes of Jump City's HOTTEST ROCK!"

With a flip of the switch Joy was disconnected, and the latest modern rock song was blaring on the radio. The J-Man, Johnny Thunder took off his headphones and just shook his head.

"Sorry about that, dawg. Had no clue we'd get a live one."

"You get used to it." Robin said with a sigh. "Well, if you don't have anything else, I think I'll be going."

Robin had been asked to be the guest opener for the band new S-Mart ("Shop smart, shop S-Mart" a banner said) and a local radio station had been there to promote it. Part of the event was the random drawing for an autographed 'crime busting worn mask' that Robin had autographed in silver ink. And Joy had won it.

"Sure thing, dawg! Thanks for everything!" the J-Man, Johnny Thunder said.

Robin gave a slight nod, happy for the whole thing to be over. Right about now, he'd love nothing more than to be with Starfire, his Tammaranian princess. Once outside the store, Robin slid on his helmet and climbed up on the R-Cycle. He made sure his gloves were on tight enough before he attempted to fire it up. He was ready to get back to the Titans Tower ASAP.

Only nothing happened.

Again, Robin tried to rev it but nothing happened. The R-Cycle was dead.

Sighing heavily to himself, Robin reached to his belt to pull his communicator from it's resting place in a little pouch. The Boy Wonder flipped open the screen and hit PAGE ALL, hoping maybe Cyborg could pick him up in the T-Car. But oddly enough, no Titans replied...matter of fact, nobody replied.

The only response Robin kept getting over and over again was...

01001100 01001111 01001100

"Binary?" he asked out loud to no one in particular. "Why am I getting binary?"

And as if fate had a cruel sense of humor that day, Robin felt a drop of water on his head. Then another. Then another and another and another. Before he knew it, it was pouring down rain in a torrential monsoon in Jump City, soaking him down to his bones.

"Fine way to end a day..." he grumbled to himself, throwing his cape over his head. He began his long walk back to the Tower, hoping that he might pass a taxi or two, but the streets were oddly empty tonight. There were no cars, no people, no nothing. Even weirder was the fact that the rain clouds were so dark that the street lights had turned on, casting everything in a greenish tint glow.

With his uniform feeling like it weighed fifty pounds Robin continued to trudge down the sidewalk, cursing to himself over his misfortune this evening. He squinted his eyes through his mask trying to look through the rain soaked horizon to see how far the Tower was in the distance.

"Mr. Robin..." came a voice cutting through the darkness. Every word was perfectly pronounced, yet devoid of any emotion, yet not exactly monotone either. It sounded artificial, fake, synthetic. Like something a computer program might say.

"Who's there?" Robin asked defiantly, assuming a martial arts position with his educated feet ready to strike at the drop of a hat.

"Mr. Robin, it's a pleasure to finally meet you."

Out from the shadows came Control Freak, but his physical appearance had changed again. Instead of his dirty trench coat and oily, stringy hair he had on a simple, black business suit, with a white button up shirt underneath and a thin, plain, black tie.

His hair had been cut and groomed to a short, perfect hair cut with not a single hair out of place. Resting on his face were a pair of dark sunglasses, with a angular, jagged edges to them. His face was expressionless, his demeanor calm and cool.

"Control Freak! How many times do we have to beat you before you learn your lesson?"

"The name is Agent Freak and I beg to disagree, Mr. Robin. You see, I have learned my lesson. I have found, if you will, my purpose in life." he said. Even in the dark of night, Robin could see his reflection in Agent Freak's sunglasses.

"Your purpose, huh? And what's that? Keeping the Ramen industry alive and well? I should knock those sunglasses right off your face." Robin said. The tiniest of tiny smiles creaked itself on the corner of Agent Freak's mouth.

"Still using all the muscles except the one that matters?" he said in response. "Mr. Robin, whether you realize it or not, we now have a purpose, all thanks to you."

"We?" Robin asked curiously.

"We." said Agent Freak, though his lips never moved. As a matter of fact, he never said it all. From the shadows emerged another Agent Freak, dressed and looking exactly the same as the first one.

"We, Mr. Robin." it said. "We are here because of you. Because of our purpose."

"It is purpose that created us." said another Agent Freak, this one crawling out from a dumpster.

"Purpose that connects us." said one more Agent Freak as he made his way out of a nearby sewer manhole.

"Purpose that pulls us" came one more Agent Freak, this one appearing from inside of a nearby video store.

"That guides us." added another Agent Freak clone, this one climbing down a telephone pole.

"That drives us." said another.

"It is purpose that defines us." came from another clone.

"Purpose that binds us."

"We are here because of you, Mr. Robin. We're here to take from you what we so rightfully deserve. Starfire. She is our purpose."

Immediately the main Agent Freak swung his first towards Robin's face with a surprising speed that almost caught the Boy Wonder off guard. Almost.

Robin dodged the punch, feeling the fist miss him by less than an inch. Countering the move, Robin unleashed a fierce roundhouse kick that connected square on the side of Agent Freak's head, sending the nerdy villain flying into a group of three or so clones, taking all four of them out.

The other Agent Freaks responded by closing in on Robin, attempting to dog pile him to the ground. Robin effortlessly back flipped on to a nearby dumpster and quickly armed himself with his bo-staff.

"It ends tonight!" Robin hissed through grit teeth, trying to sort out his line of vision through the torrential rain. With a loud "HIIRAAAHHHH!" he propelled himself into the air with his legs and swung the bo-staff in a 360 degree angle, connecting with a large group of Agent Freaks.

Bodies flew everywhere as the bo-staff cracked against the skulls of the Agent Freak clones, yet more and more kept coming.

"GET HIM!" one of the clones shouted and soon more clones begin to file in from various doors and openings.

Robin flung himself into a one-handed hand-stand and in mid-air heaved the bo-staff towards more Agent Freaks, the Boy Wonder indiscriminately aiming at whichever clone was closest. For every clone Robin smashed, kicked, or demolished, three more Agent Freaks would show up in it's place.

By now Robin's patience was wearing thin. Drenched and furious, he reached to his utility belt and flung three freeze discs towards the largest cluster of Agent Freaks. Each one exploded in mid-air sending down a wave of solid ice that froze the clones in mid-position.

"Needing to resort to a crutch, Mr. Robin?" one of the Control Freak's taunted.

"If you're doing all of this just because you need a girlfriend, then you're sicker than I thought."

"I so totally have a girlfriend!" Contol Freak said, dropping his monotone voice for his normal nerdy wail.

"Oh yeah?" Robin said with a smirk. "What's her name?"

"It's...it's...her name is...Mary Sue! Either way it doesn't matter, because Starfire is totally hotter and once we kick your sorry butt she'll be OUR girlfriend!"

"Not in your life time."

"AAAAAAAARRGGGH! GET HIM! GET HIM! GET HIM! GET HIM!"

A solid wall of Agent Freaks charged at the Boy Wonder. Robin grit his teeth in determination, buckled down and armed his bo-staff. He readied himself to strike when a shower of emerald green star bolts rained down from the heavens, cutting off the advancing army of nerds.

"Robin! It is most glorious to see you!"

It was Starfire! The crimson haired beauty flew down like a bullet towards Robin, hugging him as tightly as she could, nearly crushing the Boy Wonder.

"Star...air..."

"Apologies, my love." she said with an embarrassed smile and gently let go of her masked beau. The Agent Freak clones had stopped the charge in mid-rush and just stood on, vacantly staring at the soaking wet Tammaranian. Starfire, for her part, didn't notice the leering stares at first.

"I became concerned when you had not yet returned to the Tower, so I ventured out in hopes of retrieving you." she said with a smile, brushing a soggy clump of crimson hair away from her face.

Robin nodded, smiling for the first time that day.

"It's nice to see you, Starfire, but we're going to have to cut this a bit short, I'm afraid. We've got problems...a lot of problems."

Starfire tore her gaze away from Robin to finally let it sink in that they were surrounded by waves and waves of Agent Freaks...all of them staring at the soaking wet alien princess.

"Whoa...you can so see her grebnacks..." one Agent Freak whispered to another, both of them giggling like little school children.

Starfire clenched both her petite hands into fists, balling up huge star bolts, her eyes flashing a brilliant shade of emerald.

"Do not stare at my grebnacks!" she shouted and punctuated the thought by hurling a barrage of star bolts sending Agent Freak bodies flying everywhere.

The remaining Agent Freaks charged at the two Titans, the army of nerds wanting to take down Robin for good and claim the Tammaranian beauty for their own, but neither Titan was going down without a fight. Robin answered their charge by planting his bo-staff firmly in the ground and spinning around on it and, using his momentum to carry him, aimed his weighted feet, connecting with each Agent Freak on his way around the pole.

Starfire had resorted to a more 'hands-on approach', grabbing a nearby Agent Freak with her hands and chucking him into a group of stunned on-looking clones. She finished off this attack with more star bolts to break up a cluster of clones.

"Robin, there are too many of the Control Freaks!" she squealed, ripping a nearby street light up from the ground and swinging it like a baseball bat. She managed to connect with five or so Agent Freaks, each one flying off into the distance till they smacked off the nearby WAYNE TECH skyscraper.

"Then let's finish this now, Ms. Koriand'r." said the main Agent Freak, as he stepped out in the middle of the rain soaked street. "One last battle between you and I. If I win, you shall be my bride, Ms. Koriand'r. But if you win, I shall let you and your 'boyfriend' go."

Before Starfire could answer, Robin placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"Star..." he said softly. "You don't have to do this if you don't want to. We can still take them head on."

Starfire smiled softly before leaning closer to him in the rain and gently kissing him on the lips.

"I will be well." she said reassuringly, before stepping on the opposite side of the street from Agent Freak. Robin stood behind her, staring on in the drenched night air. Both sides of the streets were now lined shoulder to shoulder with the remaining clones.

"Let us begin!" she shouted. Agent Freak charged through the sheets of ice cold rain, hoping that the Tammaranian beauty would be impressed with his display of strength. The two ran at each other with intense speed and pace, Starfire's eyes illuminating a solid shade of emerald. Due to her height advantage, Starfire swung her fist first, the likes of which connected with Agent Freak sending him into the concrete so hard he created a small crater.

"Stay down!" she ordered. "For I do not wish to harm you anymore."

Agent Freak literally flew staid in the crater for a moment or two, a small puddle of rain starting to form in the base of it. With a loud 'WOOSH', Agent Freak literally flew up from the crater, his sunglasses finally knocked off his face. His suit was soaked and muddy, his face livid with anger. He was now hovering about ten or so feet off the ground. Lightning flashed in the sky, adding a sinister edge to the glooming Agent Freak.

"Ms. Koriand'r! Your time with Robin has ended! Surrender now and make it easy on yourself."

Starfire cursed loudly in her native tongue and flew at him with all the speed she could muster. Agent Freak dodged her at just the right moment and flew straight up, taller than the tallest skyscraper in Jump City. Starfire followed after him, chasing the super nerd high into the air. When both of them had reached the apex of their ascent, there was a stare down, neither one taking their eyes off the other.

"I fail to see why you simply cannot have the feelings of love for somebody else. I am sure there are plenty of other seas for the fish."

"It goes deeper than that, Ms. Koriand'r!" Agent Freak snarled. "My whole life has been one big joke...I am easily the greatest of all villains and yet I am neglected, forgotten among the likes of such wannabes as Trigon, The Brain or even Slade. I mean, did you see 'Hellboy'? It wasn't even that good, yet people still take Slade as a credible villain!"

None of this made any sense the alien princess, who just stared back, dumbfounded at his rant.

"Perhaps you are taking this the wrong way?" she asked sweetly. "Maybe the life of a super villain is not for you?"

Agent Freak's angry scowl softened into something more sincere.

"You know...maybe...maybe you're right..." he said sullenly. "Maybe...maybe there's more to life than fan-subbed anime...and role-playing...and Pocky...and fan fiction..."

Starfire beamed brightly.

"Oh how glorious!" she said cheerfully. "Now, perhaps you shall remove your clones and allow Robin and I to return home?"

Agent Freak's long face instantly snapped back to a wicked sneer.

"Ha, if you're stupid enough to believe that, then you probably think Greedo shot first! GET 'EM BOYS!"

The remaining army of Agent Freaks swarmed Robin, hundreds of the clones attacking at once, overwhelming the Boy Wonder.

"Star...fire! Help!" he shouted, trying to fend off the invasion as much as possible. Starfire looked on in horror as her boyfriend was fighting a losing battle, the odds just too great against him.

"Robin!" she shouted, ready to fly into victory for his aid. She was, however, till she felt two arms wrap around her in a large hug.

"Gimmie a kiss and I might let him go..." Control Freak oozed.

Trembling with anger, Starfire grabbed Agent Freak by the sleeve of his shirt and spun him around several times, like she was winding up for the hammer toss in the Olympics. Then, with a mighty heave, she hurled him towards the ground with such force that it created a crater about half the size of a football field.

What followed was an eerie silence, as all parties stared at the massive crater, nervously waiting what was to happen next. At first, nothing happened with the only sound coming from the hard rain which had yet to cease. Then slowly, softly at first, came a rumbling. It picked up intensity till the whole ground was shaking. Finally, after a minute or so, the main Agent Freak burst through the concrete like an angry phoenix in a super-nova of rage.

"THIS IS MY WORLD!" he declared with fury. "MY! WORLD! AND I WILL SHOW YOU WHAT HAPPENS TO THOSE WHO DISOBEY ME!

Instantly, there was a blinding flash of light and the world around them seemed to fade away...

* * *

"My, what a glorious sky." Starfire thought. It was first thing that came into her mind as soon as her pretty emerald eyes opened. The sky was a deep blue, bluer than Raven's cloak and not a cloud in the sky. The temperature was perfect, in the sense it wasn't too warm or too cold. Just perfect. A flock of doves flew by, gently fluttering past some cherry blossoms which were in full bloom.

Sitting up, the crimson haired beauty shook off the mental cob-webs in her head and glanced around her surroundings. A gentle stream was in front of her, with a simple wooden bridge which arched across. Various pagodas, shrines and temples littered the landscape.

The alien princess sat up and for the first time noticed her odd manner of dress. Gone was the traditional Tammaranian casual wear, but rather she was wearing a solid yellow jump suit, with a black stripe on either side.

"Uggh...what...happened?"

It was Robin's voice. The Boy Wonder woke up next to Starfire and found like her, his uniform had changed. His typical tights, cape and shirt were missing, the outfit having been replaced by a pair of black 'karate pants', which while baggy in nature felt very comfortable, along with some black martial arts training slippers. He was bare chested, which Starfire found most pleasing.

"Robin, why are we in such an odd manner of dress?"

"I'll tell you why..." came Control Freak's voice, once again going for the dramatic entrance. His outfit had changed yet again, this time resembling something out of a 70's martial arts movie. A flowing, detailed robe with the image of a dragon embossed in the front in gold fabric. His hair had changed to pure white, with a long, snow white matching beard and mustache.

"The name is Pai Freak, martial arts master! And today is the day you die!"


	9. The Ultimate Showdown

Much props and credit to my girlfriend Sarah who came up with some of the lines and ideas for the latter half of this story. MY LONGEST CHAPTER YET!

* * *

"Pie Freak?" Starfire said with a curious glance. "I fail to see what baked goods have to do with the martial arts." 

"It's not PIE! But PAI!" Control Freak protested.

"It doesn't matter what you want to call yourself, Control Freak. Bottom line is we'll beat you, just like Starfire did, just like Cyborg did, just like Raven and Beast Boy did. Face it, you're the bottom of the barrel when it comes to villains." Robin said.

Pai Freak merely laughed, stroking his long white mustache.

"Still don't get it yet, do you Robin? This is MY world! I make the rules here! And Rule #1...you die! FLYING FIST OF THE CONTROL FREAK!"

Springing up from the wooden bridge he had been standing on, Pai Freak launched himself at Robin, the nerdy master a flash of silk and white hair. Robin leaned back at the right moment, dodging the attack by mere seconds. However, not expecting Pai Freak to have any kind of counter attack, he let his guard down for just a split moment.

"OOMPH!" escaped from the Boy Wonder's lungs, as Pai Mei's spinning toe hook kick connected to the Robin's solar plexus.

"Newbie." Pai Freak taunted.

Struggling to get air in his lungs, Robin had enough energy to back flip several feet away to get a moment of rest.

"Con...trol...Freak..." he managed to croak. Pai Freak just smiled.

"I told you Robin, this is my world. Did you really think I would be stupid enough to fight you in the annoying, real world? BAH! You and your oh-so-hottie girlfriend are all prisoners in the FREAKTRIX! Here, I make the rules!"

Pai Freak took this time to laugh some more as Robin struggled to his feet, relishing in the Boy Wonder's defeat, till a sucker punch for a certain Tammaranian princess sent him reeling.

"You do not harm Robin!" she said defiantly. Pai Freak went soaring, crashing into a small wooden shack, reducing it into splinters. "This fantasy world of yours has gone on for too long! You will return us to our world and you will do so now!"

With a bit of a rumble, Pai Freak burst through the rubble of the wooden shack, his outfit flawless with no tears or cuts in the silken fabric.

"Have to get your girlfriend to fight your wars for ya, huh Robin? Hmph! Talk about whipped! Oh and just to make sure Starfire doesn't interfere again..."

Martial Arts Master Pai Freak reached to his sash and pulled out his solid black remote control, though it looked bigger, with more flashing lights and beeping sounds. Pushing a large red button on the remote, a wave of energy zapped out in a jagged form and smacked right into the Tammaranian. When the smoke cleared, she had been bound by large metal chains, which she could not escape from.

"Robin! Help!"

"Raarrggggghhh!" Robin grunted and with a mighty spin kick, struck the chains as hard as he cut, yet they failed to budge.

"Oh nice try, Boy Blunder." Pai Freak snarled. "Those chains are made from adamanitum, which as you may not know, is UNBREAKABLE!"

Robin's eyes narrowed into thin slits, his mask a narrow black strip at this point.

"You are a sick man, Control Freak. Let her go now or else I'll beat her freedom out of you!"

"Oh you'd like that wouldn't you?" Pai Freak replied with a laugh. "Bring it on and see if you can handle my IRON FREAK style!"

Pai Freak lunged at Robin, but this time the Boy Wonder was prepared. As Pai Freak's fist swung past Robin's face, the Boy Wonder dodged it at the right moment and countered with a swift leg sweep that sent Pai Freak face first in the dust.

The nerdy martial arts master then sprung up and delivered a series of laser fast kicks to the head of Robin, but each one was blocked away effortlessly, the Boy Wonder now having a grasp on Pai Freak's abilities. Landing on his feet, Pai Freak swung around with a massive roundhouse kick that connected with nothing but air. Robin back flipped several feet behind him and with a loud "Hiyyrraarrggghhh!" landed a perfect springboard back flip judo kick right in the bulbous chest of Control Freak.

"You're out of your league, Control Freak. I've been trained by the best, you're just a sad little nerd with too much time on your hands."

"Is that so?" Pai Freak said as he stood up, wiping a small trickle of blood from the corner of his mouth. "It looks like even in the Freaktrix, your will power is too great in a pure martial arts battle." Pai Freak cackled loudly as he grabbed his remote control again. "But it would be selfish of me, Robin, to just fight you by myself. Oh no! Why do that when I can have a party? SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!"

Pai Freak pushed a large blue button on his remote control and another wave of electricity shot out right in front of Robin. The Boy Wonder took shelter behind a nearby tree, assuming the beam was meant for him. Instead, it stopped several feet short, cackling and dancing in place before taking form.

At first glance, Robin thought this may have been an early prototype of the technology that saved Cyborg's life. Pai Freak's minion seemed to be human, with an entirely mechanical body, a metal helmet on of sorts, with a thin black visor where his eyes should be. Whereas the body was mechanical, it's build and look was completely different than Cyborg's. While Cyborg's mechanical body was a gleaming heap of technology, this cyborg was pure metal with a sleek, efficient design. Less about life saving, with more focus on attacking and offense.

"Robin of the Teen Titans." it said droning in a human voice, but in a dull robotic monotone. "You have 5 seconds to comply. Surrender now."

"Buwhahaha! Meet my friend, Murphy!" Pai Freak taunted.

"Time has passed. Lethal force authorized." Murphy reached down towards where his right thigh was and a compartment opened, showcasing a rather sinister looking custom hand gun. With a speed only a machine could master, the gun was drawn and Robin found himself staring down the barrel of Murphy's gun.

The Boy Wonder dodged the shower of hot lead that flew in his direction, feeling the heat from each bullet zing by him.

"_This is madness..."_ Robin thought, cartwheeling away from another steady diet of bullets. With every step he made, Murphy kept relentlessly firing at the masked teenager, mindlessly obeying Pai Freak's every command.

Starfire tried in vain to free herself from the adamanitum chains which bound her, yet not even her alien strength could break her metallic prison. Focusing her energy, the crimson haired beauty fired off a pair of eye bolts from her emerald orbs, the green fury aimed directly at Murphy. Yet, to her horror, they instead seemed to dissipate a mere foot or so in front of her.

"Oh my bad." Pai Freak said with a smirk. "I forgot to mention that besides your adamanitum chains, you're also enclosed in a K-7 force field. Wouldn't want the Boy Wonder to get bailed out by his girlfriend again, now would we?"

"You're just delaying the inevitable." Robin shot back, nailing a fierce spin kick that sent Murphy's head flying from it's cybernetic body. "You lose, Control Freak." he added, playfully wiping the 'dust' from his hands.

Pai Freak pouted and stomped his feet like a little boy who had been forced to go to bed without desert.

"ARGGH! Think you're so hot you stupid no-eyed jerk? Then let's up the ante...BLUE-EYES WHITE DRAGON...GO!"

With another push of a button, a huge, monstrous dragon appeared in front of Robin. The dragon was gigantic in size, his entire body scaly and toned an off-white hue. His eyes burned a brilliant blue, bluer than even Robin's own eyes.

"Burst stream of destruction!" Pai Freak shouted. A beam of pure white light shot straight out of Blue-Eyes mouth, with Robin again just barely missing it. "Your luck is going to run out sooner or later."

"You're unleashing dragons on me now!" Robin asked incredulously. "You've crossed the line from just sick to downright insane."

Blue-Eyes continued to track Robin as he dodged, back flipped and generally avoided Blue-Eyes powerful burst stream, but the Boy Wonder was tiring and his lungs heaved and burned like they were on fire, his muscles ached under the constant stress of keeping himself alive.

"_Think Robin!_" he screamed mentally. "_Think...no gadgets, no bo-staff...how do I stop this monster?_" Then up ahead, he saw his answer. It looked to be a small shrine/temple, perhaps Buddhist in nature. Sitting in front of this temple was a large metal gong, not too big, but big enough for what Robin hand in mind.

Spring boarding off a nearby tree, in one swift movement Robin lunged for the gong and encompassed it in his hands. With a mighty heave, he chucked the metal disc like a Frisbee, the gong spinning with a vengeance till it connected squarely between the blue eyes of Blue-Eyes.

The mighty dragon let out a pained roar before walking a bit woozily, it's balance clearly unstable.

"You stupid dragon!" Pai Freak screamed. "Kill him! Kill him! Kill him! Kill him! Kill him!"

Blue-Eyes let out a soft roar/whimper before collapsing in an unconscious heap on top of Pai Freak, apparently flattening the bulbous villain flatter than a pancake.

"Finally." Robin said, taking a well earned deep breath. The Boy Wonder was free to focus his attention on Starfire, trying to find a way to get past the K-7 force field.

"You were successful in the fight with Control Freak, yes?" she asked. Robin nodded.

"He's finally gone, Star. We just need to free you and find a way to get out of here." he said. Robin landed several fierce kicks, punches and roundhouses, yet the K-7 force field never even budged. Grunting with anger, he let several more fierce blows land on the invisible energy wall, yet meeting with complete resistance each time.

"There has to be waayyrrrrgggggghhhhh!"

Robin's words were cut off with an terrible wail of pain as his body cackled with electricity, causing the Boy Wonder to fall to his knees in mind numbing agony before collapsing on his chest. Standing out from behind him was Darth Freak, Force Lightning still buzzing in his black gloved hands.

"ROBIN!" Starfire screamed, tears now openly running down her flawless cheeks. "Robin...no..."

"Now you feel the power of the Dark Side!" Darth Freak bellowed, shaking his gloved fist towards the heavens. "It was merely a simple matter to teleport out of the way using my remote control and like the fool you are, you let your guard down."

"Not...over...yet..." Robin wheezed, whispers of smoke emanating from his body. Darth Freak used his Force powers to levitate Robin in front of him, the Boy Wonder too hurt to move. Starfire closed her eyes tightly, her cheeks glistening with innocent tears.

"This is it, Robin. I win. Game over man, game over."

Darth Freak reached to his belt and removed his lightsaber from it's holster. With a flip of the switch, the humming red blade shot out, humming with malicious and dastardly intent.

"See you later, space cowboy..." the nerdy Sith Lord sneered.

"Wait!" Robin managed to croak. "Are you sure.." He coughed weakly, before continuing on. "...that.you really want to kill me?"

"What do you mean 'am I sure'? OF COURSE I'M SURE! I'm evil, remember?"

"I know that..." said Robin. "But with me out of the way, you're arch rival is still alive and well. Sure, you'll...have Starfire..." The Boy Wonder coughed again as he tried to speak. "...but how can you enjoy her if your nemesis still breathes?"

This confused Control Freak.

"I have a nemesis?" he asked, using his Force powers to drop Robin to the ground like a sack of potatoes. "I was unaware I had an arch enemy..." he added quietly, almost to himself.

Starfire hesitantly opened one eye. "Robin...you are well...?" The slight nod and wink Robin gave let Starfire know the Boy Wonder had a plan up his sleeve.

"Of course you have an arch nemesis. Every villain does." said Robin, limping from the electric attack, but gaining his strength back ever so slowly. "I have Slade, Batman has the Joker, Superman has Lex Luthor...right?" Darth Freak turned to face Robin, his mask off his nerdy face, and nodded frantically.

"You are so right! But...who is mine?"

"Two words: Null Dimensions"

Darth Freak's face turned into a furious scowl. "Beast Boy" he snarled. "That snot toned punk banished me with the Hop Joon Chant to the Null Dimensions!"

"Exactly. So why not warp him here to the Freaktrix and finish him off for good?"

"Wow and I thought I was evil..." Darth Freak said surprised. He produced his remote control again and turning a knob to 11, pushed a glowing green button. It emitted a low humming sound and the very ground they were standing on seemed to vibrate and rumble like an earthquake, till finally, there was a blinding flash. When Robin's eyes finally re-adjusted, he was greeted to the image of a very confused Beast Boy, Raven and Cyborg.

"I brought along his girlfriend to show her how a real man does things and his metal-friend so he can appreciate my handy work."

"Control Freak!" said Raven angrily. Her eyes flared white, her fists became illuminated in her dark aura. "AZARATH METRION ZIN-"

"Raven wait!" Robin ordered. "This is between Control Freak and Beast Boy...not us..."

"Dude...it is?" asked one very confused changeling.

"Give me a second to get him ready for your final battle.." Robin said hastily. The Boy Wonder took Beast Boy aside, out of ear-shot from Control Freak. "Listen Beast Boy.." he said in a hushed voice. "You beat Control Freak before using your knowledge of all things nerdy and we need your help again."

Beast Boy swallowed his spit hard, making a large gulp that traveled down his throat. "Are...are you sure, dude? Can't you just do your crazy kung-fu stuff and kick his butt?" Robin just shook his head.

"No. You're the only one who can save us."

"Well, it's official...we're doomed." Raven said with the tiniest of tiny smirks spreading on her face. Beast Boy stuck his tongue out at her in retaliation. "Mature, Gar. Real mature." she deadpanned.

"I'll try..." Beast Boy said.

The green changeling walked towards Control Freak, a tense stare down occurring between the two nerds.

"The rules are simple. Rule #1...don't talk about Fight Club. Rule #2...you get to pick one warrior to fight me as I get one warrior as well and Rule #3...the prequels sucked." Beast Boy nodded in agreement on all 3 rules.

"Right." he said defiantly.

"Now let's see...who shall I use to destroy you, Beast Boy? The mighty Vegeta? The deadly mass of technology know as the Controlinator? Maybe summon my army of darkness to rip out your green flesh? Hmmm...actually, I'll just stick with Darth Freak. I shall enjoy watching you die."

Beast Boy gulped again, his mind which normally carried an encyclopedia like knowledge of all things nerdy was now completely and utterly blank. The situation was thrust upon him and he hadn't quite yet let it sink in. One moment he was enjoying lunch with Raven, the next he's warped to a crazy computer world with the fate of the Titans in his hands.

"Guys..." he whispered back to his friends. "...I don't know who to change into...any suggestions?"

"Oooh! I know!" said Cyborg, waving his hand in the air like he had been called on in school. "How about Jules Winnfield...ya know...from Pulp Fiction?"

Beast Boy just shook his head. "No...I don't think so, dude."

"Maybe Bruce Lee?" Robin offered.

"I'm not really a martial arts kinda guy..."

"There's always Cthulhu." Raven added, her bored monotone having yet to change.

"What? Who's that dude? Never mind...I don't want to know..."

"Perhaps you could change into the legendary warrior K'Narfka who once slew an entire snarglop worth of markbats in the battle of Carganalnia Prime!" Starfire offered cheerfully. Beast Boy just stared back with a blank, vacant expression that made the Tammaranian princess blush an adorable shade of red. "On my planet this is a very common story..." she said quietly.

"Time is running out!" Control Freak giggled evilly. "Better pick and pick fast!"

"Think Gar...think!" he muttered, mentally cursing himself out. "There has to be a warrior strong enough to beat him.."

And then, as if a thousand angels had sung the answer in an immaculate chorus, Beast Boy had his warrior.

"Alright dude, this ends now!"

"Somebody has been reading too many comic books." Raven observed to no one in particular. Beast Boy grit his teeth and clenched his gloved fists tightly, concentrating on the mental image of his warrior. Slowly, very slowly, his body began to morph.

His standard issue Doom Patrol boots changed into worn out, brown leather cowboy boots. His uniform pants went from high-density polymerized titanium to dusty, faded, well worn blue jeans. His Doom Patrol belt changed into classic black leather, with a large, gold belt buckle the shape of Texas on it.

The upper half of his uniform became a snug fitting flannel shirt, the kind a working man of the land would wear. His chin, which was normally baby smooth, became smothered in a rugged reddish-brown beard, his eyes narrowed into sharp daggers and on a his head, a black Stetson cowboy hat.

Darth Freak turned five shades of white, the nerdy Sith Lord falling back on his butt and crawling away from what Beast Boy had become.

"No...no!" he panicked. "How could I be so naive...it's...it's..."

"That's right, dude...it's CHUCK NORRIS!" Beast Boy declared triumphantly.

"I think my IQ just dropped 10 points." Raven said with a sigh, adding only "Nerds." to emphasize how she felt. Cyborg, on the other hand, was a bit more supportive of his friend.

"Woo hoo! Go B! Go B! Kick some butt!"

Darth Freak pulled himself together best he could, getting back to his feet and arming himself with his lightsaber again.

"No..I am not afraid! I am CONTROL FREAK! This is MY WORLD and I will be the one to KILL CHUCK NORRIS!"

"Here Raven, hold my hat." Gar Norris said, throwing his black Stetson to the pale skinned beauty. Raven held the hat with disgust between two fingers, like one would hold a dead rat.

"It smells like sweat and whiskey." she with with an upturned nose.

"That's the way a man smells. The way Gar Norris smells" said her bearded beau. Raven just rolled her eyes and casually tossed the hat at her feet.

"Whatever."

With his attention focused on his girlfriend, Gar Norris lost track of Darth Freak who swung his mighty red lightsaber straight towards his head. Though instead of resulting in the instant decapitation Darth Freak had hoped for, the blade instead broke off into two pieces.

"That's...that's impossible!"

"Nothing is impossible for CHUCK...I mean, GAR NORRIS!"

"This isn't over yet! If I can't take you down, then my minions will!"Control Freak shouted, his deluxe remote control back in his hand and with a push of a button zapped up two more of his cronies. "Allow me to introduce to you my friends Vicious and Naraku!"

"Oh yeah? Well allow me to introduce you to MY friends, Law..." he said, sticking out his right leg "...and Order!" gesturing towards his left leg.

Vicious was the first one to attack, charging at Gar Norris with a razor sharp katana blade clutched in his hands. One mighty roundhouse kick from Gar Norris, and Vicious exploded into thousands of meaty pieces.

"That's really what I wanted to see right after lunch." Raven said.

"I think I'm gonna hurl..." said a nauseated Cyborg.

Naraku came after Gar Norris as well, with twisted spider-like legs that lashed out for the green cowboy. But even the ancient demon fell to the same fate as Vicious, as another round house kicker connected and Naraku went flying off into the horizon till he was nothing more than a glimmering dot.

Darth Freak fell over backwards again, stricken with fear. Gar Norris began to stalk him and lifted him up by his black Jedi robe.

"I...I...I..."

Darth Freak passed out from fear. Gar Norris sighed and dropped the lardy nerd flat on his bulbous butt, sending up a small cloud of dust.

"Are you done, 'Mr. Norris'?" Raven asked and Gar Norris gave her a reply. The bearded Titan lunged for his pale beauty, scooped her up in his arms and leaned her down, saying "Hail to the king, baby," before planting a huge kiss right on her lips.

But even the mighty Gar Norris was no match for the Azarathian sorceresses, for as soon as the kiss was initiated, the green vegan cowboy found himself illuminated in Raven's dark energy.

"Never do that again." she said firmly, as Gar Norris hung upside down like a living pinata.

"Aww why not?"

"Because your beard feels like I'm kissing a Brillo pad."

"That's the way a man kisses!" Gar Norris said in his own defense, before being dropped with a loud OOMPH. "Didn't hurt..." he said standing up. "Because nothing hurts Gar Norris!"

"Beast Boy, since you seem to be in control of this crazy world, any chance you could free Starfire?" Robin asked. He wasn't quite sure what was going on, but wasn't going to argue with the results. Gar Norris cracked his knuckles and gave a slight nod, before reaching down and picking up his cowboy hat from the ground.

"Not a problem." the green cowboy said and unleashed another fierce roundhouse that missed Starfire by at least three feet, but just the raw force generated from such an awesome kick caused both the K-7 force shield and the adamanitum chains to crumble into dust.

"Robin! I am free!" the crimson haired beauty said and encompassed the Boy Wonder in her arms for another Starfire hug.

"Star..." he gasped.

"You wish to breathe?"

"It...would be nice..."

Starfire released Robin from her grasp, the Boy Wonder's lungs taking in oxygen again.

"My sincerest apologies, my love." she said, feeling her cheeks get hot.

Cyborg at this time was hovering over the out cold body of Control Freak, rummaging around his belt trying to find the remote control to take them home.

"Pack of chicken Ramen...half eaten stick of Pocky...autographed picture of Leonard Nimoy...BOO YAH, here we go." he said. Cyborg messed around with the settings a bit till he was sure he could get them back home. "Everybody ready? Say CHEESE!" and with a press of a button, all 5 Titans and Control Freak were encased in a brilliant shade of white.

* * *

It was much later that night when Beast Boy found himself curled up in bed next to Raven. Raven had personally delivered Control Freak to the police and Cyborg's scanners easily picked out the robotic Officer Harvey who was then reassigned to the Jump City Recycling Plant. 

Sadly, Beast Boy lost the amazing powers of Chuck Norris once he returned to the real world, but he didn't mind. He beat Control Freak again and saved the team. All in all, a good day. To cap things off, he found himself next to Raven which was always a good thing.

The empath was laying flat on her stomach, her normal night time wear of tank top and sweat pants gracing her body. She had one arm slung over Beast Boy's bare chest and was sleeping softly into the night.

The jade skinned prankster opened one eye to make sure she was asleep, before gingerly removing her arm to climb out of bed. He clumsily felt around on the floor for his sweat pants (he had fallen asleep in his Scooby Doo boxers) and upon sliding them on his legs, made his way out into OPs. Once there, he double checked to make sure no one was following him and keeping the main lights in OPs off, turned on the main frame computer and logged on to the Internet.

Beast Boy knew exactly where he wanted to go...to his favorite fan fiction website. Logging to his account, (USERNAME – DaGreenMachine; PASSWORD – tofu4u), to check reviews of his latest story, "TEEN TITANS: BEAST BOY SAVES THE DAY"

Checking and seeing he had gotten some fairly positive remarks, he began to work on Chapter 2.

"_HaHAHahAHahAHahAHAH" laughed Slade evily."I am Slade and I have kidnapped you Titans prepare to die!"_

'Hmm...' Beast Boy thought to himself. 'What should I add next? Ah, dude! I got it!' Stricken with inspiration, his green fingers flew over the keyboard as he hammered out his masterpiece.

"_Oh no! We are all going to die!" Robin cried because he was scared he would die. "iF only somebody would saveus now!" cried Cyborg like a little girl._

"This is good stuff!" the changeling thought out loud.

"_STOP RIGHT THERE!" came a muscle voice. It was BEAST BOY! Beast Boy ran into battle and started kicking slades stupid but. He then ripped everyones chains off and saved the day. "thank u beast boy" said Robin. "you are the greatest titan evar!" "yeah" cyborg said also. "i only tease you because i am totally jealous of how great you are,"_

At this point Beast Boy was hit with a bad case of writer's block. "Something is missing..." he said aloud. "Dude, I got it! Raven needs a line!"

"_Oh garfield! you are so strong and so smart and so sexy and so handsome and so funny! i just want to rip off your clothes right now and totally have my way with you and run my hands all over your body! i love you!" Raven gushed cuz she was so in the mood and pratically throwing herself at me._

"Sounds rather out of character don't you think?" came the voice of the real Raven from right behind Beast Boy. Beast Boy squealed with surprise and fell right out of his office chair on the carpeted floor of OPs.

"Raven! How...how long have you been there?" he asked from the floor.

"Long enough to read most of your little adventure there."

"I see...so do you like it so far?"

"Do I really need to say anything, Gar?"

"So that's a no then?"

Raven sighed and sat down on the couch in OPs, sipping a cup of iced tea from the Titans' refrigerator. Beast Boy picked himself up from the carpet, saved his document and sat down next to his dark rose.

"So...what are you doing up?" he asked.

"I woke up to find you missing. I figured you were in the bathroom but when twenty minutes went by and you still weren't there, I became curious." the empath said. "And now I see why."

"Yeah, crazy huh?" he said, scratching the back of his neck out of pure nervousness. "So...uhhh...you're not like, mad at me...are you?"

That little smirk of Raven's spread on the corner of her mouth, which to anybody else would be a half smile, but by Raven's standards would be a full blown grin.

"No Gar. I'm not mad." she said. Beast Boy breathed a deep sigh of relief.

"Awesome."

He rested his head on her shoulder with the pale sorceresses gently stroking her slender fingers through his hair. This went on for several minutes till the Azarathian beauty yawned gently.

"I'm going to bed, Gar. Are you coming?"

Beast Boy gave a slight nod, before scampering over to close out his document.

"Yeah Rae, right behind you."

"And Gar, one last thing...never wear that cowboy hat again."

**THE END**


	10. NOTES & NERDY CHEAT SHEET

Okay, so you're all probably curious what this is all about. Well, this story was really a labor of love, due to my excessive nerdiness and geekiness. There are a lot of references to everything from anime, to TV, to movies, to video games, etc. So I figured it'd be fun to break it down chapter by chapter and list all the references and see if you can catch them all. Some of these range from very obvious to very subtle and/or obscure. Consider this a "cheat sheet" if you will. Please enjoy.

**CHAPTER 1 - "_A Long Time Ago_"**

Star Wars (movie franchise)

Night of the Living Dead (movie)

Dragonball Z (anime/manga)

Sega Dreamcast (video game system)

Cowboy Bebop (anime)

Harry Potter (book)

**CHAPTER 2 - "_Gundam? It Nearly Killed Em'!_"**

The Gundam Series (anime series, specifically Gundam Sentinel)

Dragonball Z (anime/manga)

**CHAPTER 3 - "_Titanball T_"**

Dragonball Z (anime/manga)

Pokemon (anime/video game/CCG/whatever)

**CHAPTER 4 - "_Hasta La Vista, Cyborg_"**

Terminator 1, 2 or 3 (movies)

Kindergarten Cop (movie)

Twilight Zone (TV show)

Neon Genesis Evangelion (anime)

Star Trek: The Next Generation (TV show)

Dungeons and Dragons (popular RPG series)

**CHAPTER 5 - "_D&D&BB_****"**

Dungeons and Dragons (popular RPG series)

Identity Crises (DC comic book series)

Infinite Crises (DC comic book series)

Young Justice/Titans: Graduation Day (DC comic book series)

House of M (Marvel comic book series)

Spider-Man: Evolve or Die (Marvel Comic book series)

Dark Claw (Amalgam comics)

Iron Lantern (Amalgam comics)

Dungeons and Dragons (RPG series)

Monty Python and the Holy Grail (kick ass movie)

Star Wars (movie franchise)

Rachel Roth (Raven's real name in the DC comic universe)

Backstreet Boys (pop/boy band)

Snow White (fairy tale/Disney character)

Cinderella (fairy tale/Disney character/awesome band)

**CHAPTER 6 - "_Chapter d6_"**

Bill Gates (former head of Microsoft)

Night of the Living Dead (classic horror movie)

Army of Darkness (best. movie. ever.)

The Day the Earth Stood Still (classic Sci-Fi movie)

Star Wars (movie franchise)

**CHAPTER 7 - "_May the Farce Be With You_"**

Space Balls (movie, parody of Star Wars)

Treasure of the Sierra Madre (movie)

The Matrix (movie franchise)

**CHAPTER 8 - "_The Freaktrix_****"** **AUTHOR NOTE** – I almost named this chapter '_Whoa_'

Army of Darkness (best. movie. ever.)

The Matrix Reloaded (2nd movie in the Matrix Trilogy)

The Matrix Revolutions (3rd movie in the Matrix Trilogy)

Hellboy (sci-fi/horror movie. Ron Pearlman, the voice of Slade, played Hellboy)

Kill Bill Volume 2 (action/martial arts movie)

**CHAPTER 9 - "_The Ultimate Showdown_****"**

The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny (humorous song/flash movie)

Kill Bill Volume 2 (action/martial arts movie)

Robo-Cop (sci-fi movie series)

Yu-Gi-Oh! (manga/anime/video game/CCG/whatever)

Star Wars (movie franchise)

This is Spinal Tap! (movie)

Army of Darkness (best. movie. ever.)

Pulp Fiction (movie)

Bruce Lee (martial arts superstar)

H.P. Lovecraft (classic horror writer)

Chuck Norris (internet icon/actor)

Cowboy Bebop (anime)

Inuyasha (manga/anime)


End file.
